I live in Maryland, my grandmother lives in Florida, the car she drives is in my name because I bought it for her a few years ago. She recently crashed into a tree and damaged the vehicle. She is paranoid that someone is trying to take her homes. They both were in foreclosure, she told me about it last minute and I was able to pay her back mortgage and bring her current, I’ve been paying her mortgages for over 15 years now. I recently went to visit her and her home is over run with roaches, and rats. She doesn’t want to leave the house, and doesn’t want any family members in her business unless it is to pay for her bills. She befriends people that have and continue to take advantage of her, stealing what little money she has or she pays them to do odd jobs and the take the money without doing the work. Her health took a turn for the worse and the rats and roach thing freaks me completely out. We called APS and they said they could fine her and force her to clean but they can’t remove her from the home. How do I take control of her finances? I am at the point where I just want to stop paying everything and let both homes get foreclosed on. I’m so tired, even though she has a car, we pay for a taxi to take her to all of her appointments we pay for food delivery to bring food to the house, the amount of money we spend per month equals what I think it would cost for her to be in a nursing home or to have home care. How would I go about getting control of her finances and revoking her drivers license? The car is in my name and I don’t want to go to jail if she runs into something else? I’m not a bad person, I want to help but today I’m emotional and pissed off. She also has cared for a ward of the state for over 30 years. The woman is incontinent and the home smells like strong urine. The lady throws food on the floor. Now that my grandmothers health has taken a blow, she can’t care for this lady properly. How do I give her back to the state? My grandmother doesn’t want to do that but I don’t care anymore. I can’t realistically ask any in-home care provider to go into that home to care for my grandmother, but I might be able to move my grandmother and my older cousin into the other house if I can get rid of the ward of the state lady. She’ll just destroy any house she goes to. So to recap, how do I get control of my grandmothers finances? How do I give back the ward of the state mental elderly lady. How do I revoke my grandmother's drivers license? I know, I’ve taken my heart out of this post and many will read this and think I’m cruel and a terrible person, but I’ve been fighting these roaches and rats, trying to clean my grandmother's house every time I visit. I had Terminix trying to help the situation… nothing works. My grandmother has chosen this lifestyle over her family. I don’t know what else to do, any advice is greatly appreciated.
Then you should make an appointment with a certified elder care attorney to help you sort out the rest of this nightmare story, get grandma out of the rat infested house, and get her placed in residential care. Let the ECA give you guidance on how to deal with the houses and all the rest of it. This is way beyond anything a forum of non-legal laypeople on an internet forum can guide you with. Except to advise you to GET RID OF THE CAR immediately. Otherwise YOU can be liable if grandma kills someone while behind the wheel of a vehicle you own and allow her to drive. Stranger things have happened in our now upside down world.
I'm so sorry you are going through such a terrible thing. I pray that you find the answers you need to bring closure to this distressing situation for grandma and to everyone else involved. A 91 y/o woman with dementia living in such squalid conditions needs help, obviously, and you need guidance on how to get it for her. Good luck.
I would give this some serious thought; I know she's your relative, but you've tried to help her and yet she still continues to live in intolerable conditions. Once you take action and the agencies become involved, I would think she's going to blame you.
Another issue is placing a lien, even though from what I've read you don't have the legal means to do so. How would you plan to collect on the lien? You have a financially vested interest but it's not documented. What would YOU do with the property even if you could place a lien? You'd probably have to initiate a foreclosure action to get title, and then you'd have a very degenerated and unhealthy house to fix up and sell.
Perhaps you should just report anonymously and protect yourself.
There has to be an indebtedness against property to justify a lien.
There's another way of viewing the unacceptable living conditions and arranging for the roomer to leave. You're not affecting them negatively, you're not doing harm. On the contrary, you're taking steps to enrich their life once they're out of the house and into clean and safe housing. That's a big step forward, for you and for your GM and the roomer, even if they don't realize it now.
Keep a positive spin on this whole issue, and focus on the issue of removing them from physical harm and squalor, not to mention the emotional benefit you'll reap.
Just read Igloo's latest post. She addresses issues I hadn't considered: liability to you as a result of the vermin infestation, as well as knowledge of a health hazard. I hope you've kept track of all your calls to APS!
There's also the consideration by the mortgagee(s) of the two properties. I've read more commercial mortgages than residential, but I do recall the provisions that could constitute a default. That would include allowing the property to degrade to an unlivable or hazardous condition.
The value of the home and property as collateral declines under the circumstances you describe, and that value applies to the mortgagee as well as to the mortgagor. That decline is typically (from mortgages I've read) justification for default and institution of foreclosure proceedings.
Although you don't have liability under the mortgage and you're not the mortgagor, you're a contributing factor, although that's truly not your intent. I could see an aggressive mortgagee suing you as a party of interest b/c of having paid on the mortgages.
I also don't understand how the state could have (a) not discovered (b) been aware of or (c) taken action to remove the ward. Do some research, find out which agency of the state addresses placement of wards, and contact them directly.
There should have been periodic checks on the ward and the home. If not, you may have some difficulty getting the state folks to move and take action now.
Something I really don't understand though is why the neighbors continue to support in various ways. I would think the presence of vermin is noticeable, and that would provoke them to take action.
But whatever happened….. You can do a written request for APS to come out again ASAP, but this time on the behalf of the ward who lives on a property that you own (you attach a tax assessor statement that shows your name and address either in Maryland or Florida). You do know her -the wards - name and basic info, e.g. date of birth, approximately when the ward action was done and why grannie was appointed guardian, right? You include this in your letter to APS & in which you state your ownership and as such allow APS to enter and do whatever in the best interest of the ward.
And
you can also send a certified letter to the probate court where that ward of the state action was done as to the conditions of the place and the situation with the court appointed guardian (nasty granny) to ask for an immediate review and removal of and placement of the ward to a facility. Most areas have a single probate Judge for their country ‘s probate court (PC), you send a certified letter over to Judges office….. it’s oh so long ago nobody from 30 yrs ago is there now; it’s going to be a fell thru the cracks storyline. If it’s a bigger county, maybe 2-3 judges each with their own PC and these have bigger staff, you still do the letter but ask for an “in-chambers” meeting to discuss how to handle as per FL law. Once a date time set for in-chambers you contact APS to be there as well.
On both you include 5-8 photographs of interiors.
And you find a FL attorney experienced in elder law and fraud to be there with you at any meetings in PC or w/APS.
IMO if what you wrote is accurate, again in my not an attorney opinion, you have to, HAVE TO, asap get in front of this now. Why?… well if you are the legal owner of the home and allow this situation to continue and are actually subsidizing the behaviors at the house and any $ is at all commingled, you could be found libel. If properties are titled to you, any blight fines, city fees, etc are on you to pay.
Also I’d be especially worried about the ward of the state person as they are getting some sort of income….. could be SSA income & special stipends from the state for being blind, infirm, a ward, whatever…… and if someone (like grannie) or the cousin who also lives there have either been using that money over the past 30 years for things other than directly for the care & needs of the ward that’s a serious problem. You want to get ahead of this so that grannie cannot say that you knew all of this and all done with your approval as you own the house. I’m gonna guess that grannie herself has been grifting off of others - like from the $ a ward of the state pays - now for years and years. After all she’s successfully grifted off of you to pay off her delinquencies. And now she herself is being grifted upon by others. You need to do something ASAP to set yourself apart from her. That you are a legal resident of a other state helps do this but you still are owner of properties.
Nowhere in this long post do you tell us if grandmother has dementia, so I assume she does not.
As to the elderly woman, if your grandmother is her guardian you cannot remove her. You say you have called APS. You are welcome to call them again and say that your grandmother has assumed care of this woman and you believe this woman is not well cared for and in fact is in serious danger health wise due to living conditions.
As you already called APS you have been informed in fact that there is nothing to be done about grandmother, so you may need to move away from, not enable in any way this situation.
That you paid ANY mortgages is very sad indeed, esp if you paid it for any amount of time, because of course this is money that YOU yourself may need in your future. Now you won't have it. I cannot know your circumstances, and if you are independently wealthy then this will matter little in the long run. Otherwise it was as poor decision making as your poor grandmothers.
So it sounds that you have done everything you are able. You have reported grandmother. And now you can report the woman she lives with. And it is then in the hands of the state. Make certain you do not accept guardianship over grandmother at any point, as dealing with her and her placement would be incredibly difficult.
In some situations there is the adage of "not everything can be fixed". These situations move slowly and inexorably to their inevitable end.
I wish you the best.
Older cousin?
Can you not see how YOU are being taken advantage of?
You own the car. I assume you have the paperwork to prove it? Claim it, have it collected, sell it (or scrap it, if grandmother has already written it off).
Your grandmother's cared-for person is a ward of the state. Report her living conditions and her physical condition to APS. Your grandmother is unintentionally neglecting her needs, she is a ward of the state, APS emphatically IS responsible for this person's wellbeing.
If your grandmother is deemed to have mental capacity, what you do is stop paying, stop organizing services, stop cleaning her house. She will crash. Then you call APS.
It isn't a question of heartlessness. You've put your heart and soul into supporting the grandmother you love, and how's that working out for her? - she's overwhelmed by responsibilities she cannot meet, and living with urine, rats and roaches. You have to get out of the way so that better qualified people with the right authority can intervene.