My grandmother doesn't want to eat. Can you help me?

Gullak, thinking about you, hoping you are feeling somewhat better about your grandmother, that she is doing better and that you will research this and keep us updated on how you are doing. Good luck.

Gullak,

You came here for help. That is what we are trying to do but you need to realize that CHF is very serious. If Grandmom needs to be taken to the hospital to have fluids drained then she is in the final stages. This may now be a regular thing. Her heart can no longer pump strong enough to get rid of water in her system. She may need oxygen if not already on it.

You may want to research Congestive heart failure concerning diet. Grandmom may need to cut out salt which retains the water. May need to cut down on fluids because her body can no longer get rid of them fast enough. Hopefully grandma was given a water pill (Lasix) to help get rid of excess water. From one post I gather that grandma may have been taking her meds on an empty stomach, so the cause of her vomiting. All you can do is offer the food, I would not force it. She really doesn't need a lot.

I get that suggesting Hospice is very upsetting for you. But you need to realize that your grandmothers heart is getting weaker. The heart is a muscle and that muscle is now not working properly. Eventually it will no longer be able to pump. You don't need to be actively dying to receive Hospice. Look at it as a comfort thing. Since u have no doctor's nearby, you will have a nurse who u can ask questions of. Maybe an aide to help with bathing and u can get out to run errands. Hospice can be a Godsend. Grandma will be kept comfortable and pain free. Would it hurt to have Hospice come out and just evaluate. One question I would ask is if Grandma could still be taken to the hospital to have excess water drained.

The only thing that will cure Grandmom is a new heart.

Gulluk, give your grandmother a chance to recover from her hospital treatment. She's been through a lot, she's on new medications is she? - and it will take a few days for everything to settle down.

Keep offering small amounts of her favourite foods, and any special treats you know she likes; but don't push her. Being forced to eat when your appetite is poor just makes you feel even sicker.

If the nausea is a side-effect of her medication (quite possible) there may be something her doctor can do about that, so report it. I hope she's very soon feeling better.

If you do want any advice stop asking for it and "Go on your business", whatever that means.

Gulluk, any doctor, even the hospitalist caring for Grandma can suggest a hospice company or two for you to contact. And so can the social worker. Please ask to speak with a social worker. Hon, we are all trying to help. I want you to know that hospice doesn't mean these days what it once did. It isn't a death sentence,though a doctor must sign that he believes, given the illness that the person has, that there is no cure, and the person will likely die within 6 months. If the person DOESN'T die, they can sign up again, or the hospice will say that there is no expectation of death soon. Hospice will give extra care to Grandma. Is she in your home? In nursing home? Wherever she is she will have more care.
I am so very sorry. I worked in cardiaology, in Nursing for many years (retired now). It is honestly so difficult to deal with heart failure as there is always fluid overload. No amount of good eating will cure an aged heart that isn't an efficient pump yet. People here are trying to help. You are, I know, aware of your grandmother's age. You are dedicated and so very loving. She's very lucky to have you. We all here hope for the best for you, and for your Grandma.

Gulluk--

People were just trying to help.

Trust me, we DO understand what she is going through. We're not just being mean and acting like we know more than you. Everyone here is being respectful and TRYING to help you.

My mother also has CHF and we are told to NEVER try to force her to eat. She is slowly dying from the CHF and we are trying to make her life COMFORTABLE. Choking on food is NOT pleasant.

What country are you in? Most countries have some kind of hospice (which does not mean 'hospital'--it is something that helps sick and dying people have comfort at the end of their lives.

This isn't about you--it's about grandma and keeping her comfortable.

Good Luck.

You should now explore pallative care for your Grandmother. She has a heart that is a failing pump. There is no answer for that but treating the symptoms. Allow her not to eat. Request hospice consult and try to make grandma comfortable. Forcing fluid will result in food and fluid in her lungs and vomiting and aspirating food into her lung. She is likely at the end of her life with a failing heart. Make her passing comfortable for her as you are able if you are her power of attorney; speak with doctors about "comfort care", Palliative care and and ask for their honest recommendations. Ask them to describe Congestive heart failure to you. The failure of the left side of the heart results in fluid in the lungs and difficulty breathing. The failure of the right side allows fluid to build in the legs and abdomen and liver. There is no amount of good eating that will reverse age nor a failing heart pump, hon, no matter how much your love your grandmother. The treatment is diuretics and limiting salt intake, but these diuretics often wash out potassium, sodium, other things essential to life. There really is no answer to a failing heart if that is what grandmother has. Discuss things with the doctors and follow their guidance. My best wishes. This must be very painful for you to see.

I'd try to figure out what is causing it. Can it be treated? Was does she want to do? Is she a candidate for hospice? They can help make her more comfortable, if she qualifies. I'd check with the doctor about forcing someone to eat. That can be dangerous.

If a person refuses to eat PLEASE do not force them. As you have found it can cause vomiting, choking and possible aspiration that can lead to what is called Aspiration Pneumonia.
Usually as a person nears the end of their life their body will not use food and if you do force them to eat food can remain in the stomach causing blockages.
The body will maintain the "vital organs" heart, lungs, brain and keep the "core" alive but the bodily systems begin to fail.
Accepting the fact that she will die is more difficult for you and other family members than it is for her.
If a doctor suggests a feeding tube, or other means PLEASE resist the urge to do any of that.
I urge you to contact Hospice and allow them to help you caring for her, supplying support, supplies, equipment that she will need to keep her comfortable.
There is a pamphlet you can read on line called Crossing the Creek it will answer a lot of questions.
"We" think of food as more than just nutrition. Food means love, joy, family, we are brought up hearing..eat this it will make you better, eat this it will make you feel better, you go through a break up and find solace in a pint of Ben and Jerry's, at a christening party we serve food, at a wedding we serve food, after a funeral we serve food. For someone at the end of life food does not fit into any of those categories. She wants a hand to hold, she wants you to sit and talk with her. That will be her comfort, her solace.
Give her a hug, offer ice chips, or use a swab to keep her mouth moist, and tell her you love her, you will miss her but you will be alright because she helped teach you to be the person you are, loving and caring.

help me

It sounds like grandmom has congestive heart failure. I think you need to call her primary doctor. It maybe time to call in Hospice and evaluate Grandmom.

Don't force her to eat.

Do try to make sure she takes regular sips of water or whatever she prefers to drink. But encourage, don't force.

I'm sure it does make you sad, but you will have to be patient. When did she get home from hospital?