She can't get services and she is well off. Let's just say she has money and I am suffering. I lived with my 100 yr. old grandma for 7 yrs and now she can't be left alone. I am also struggling to take care of my son. What do I do? I can't pay my bills and going in debt. I am the only one out of 6 grandchildren who takes care of her, no one visits or talks to her. 7 yrs ago, my mom asked me to take care of her, I dropped out of college, rerouted my son's school, and moved 500 miles away from my immediate family. I kept my promise to my mom even though she passed from cancer 3 yrs ago. A month ago, I lost my dad and I couldn't be with him, because I was taking care of my grandma. I am getting depressed because of this. My grandma's 89 yr old brother is her POA and pays her bills. I approached him about it and he tells me she doesn't have the finances, but I believe that to be untrue. I know what my grandma has and in no way am I using her for financial gains. In no way the amount I desperately need per months breaks her piggy bank. What do I do? I can't even work because I can't leave her alone. Just recently I helped her recover $ 6,300 in assets and thought she would be able to help me and she says no!!! That was my mom's money. I can't take it anymore!!!
Grandma needs care. Grandma should be paying for that care. She doesn't have to because you are there.
It is totally unfair that you need to forfeit your own financial security for someone who HAS a financial security.
Even if your Uncle offers you pay, it won't be the same as getting pay from having a good job where you get money put into Social Security and into Medicare, plus paid sick days, possible a company 401(k) for savings, and most important paid health insurance. After 7 years, it is time for someone else to take the baton.
I know there will be a lot of grumbling, possible rows and snits. Ignore it, stick to your plan and start looking for some place new, even a cousin or friend who can take you in until you find employment and save enough to pay for an apartment.
You need to be working legitimately to save for your own retirement. That can be done with grandma with a care agreement and her as employer. You would need an elder law attorney to draft the agreement which should be grandma's expense. You would also need representation to review an offer should one come.
You first priority is to take care of you! Spoken by a daughter that cared for her mother for four years before I changed things and realised I need to protect myself.
Get paid, or leave! It really is that simple. Maybe you haven't seen that yourself because you've been encouraged to do the "Godly" thing. That sure turns out to be convenient for grandmother, doesn't it?
To assist them in their choice, you might also like to get together some leaflets or webpages from agencies in your area, including prices. Then uncle can see which option is more affordable, too.
I hope he's not in for too much of a shock.
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