My grandma refuses to take a shower. What should my family and I do?

my brother 74 is the same way, when we had an aide he refused anything the aide wanted him to do. no one can get thru to my brother and very limited family members go to see him. his daughter once a week and i go every other day. i tell him to wash, he lies, i tell him to change, he saz he does, but i see his chair and clothes are soaked. idk what the answer is bc he does smell. i tell him but makes no diff. he use to be a clean nut. he does listen once in a while, i have given him powder, deo cologne so that maybe he would do these things - NO! i spray orange spray around him bc I can't stand the odor, i do the rugs with the cleaner, i try. the doctor says he isn't ready for a home bc he has his faculties. so i pray alot, wear a mask, and do what i can

Try a bidet attachment to her toilet! My mother was the same way & not only did she forget what to do in a shower but I think the water felt like pelts on her skin making it almost hurt with too much sensation overwhelming her dementia. A sponge bath once a week works great as a substitute & in times of diarrhea a bidet is perfect. She probably won’t want to do that either but it only takes a minute. Good luck :)