I agree with AlvaDeer, you need to seek out a therapist. No one can hurt you except yourself. We are in control of our own actions. We are responsible for the way we react to others.
Please seek help. I wish you the best as you are probably a very nice person who deserves to be happy.
You will need to seek professional help so you find ways to understand that the actions of others cannot cause you to do anything to harm yourself or others. Only your own actions can cause yourself self-harm. No one on Forum is qualified to help you with suicidal ideation. Again, you need professional care. If you are having suicidal ideation now please call the suicide hotline posted below, or go to your nearest ER; they will admit you if their examination indicates you could harm yourself. If you have specific questions about clues of ways to hand people in your life, we might be helpful, but we are not qualified to deal with people who are suffering from suicidal ideation. Please get help for yourself at once. Holidays are often very difficult for people with depression and these difficulties.
aquariusgem - can you give a bit more info about the situation, and relationship between grandma, mom and you? And what grandma does to destroy your relationship with mom?
What I want to ask you right now is: why should YOU die and not the old hag?
Why should you sacrifice your young life for an evil person?
I bet if you die, she will not be sad, in fact, she might just be happier.
Why would you give her that satisfaction of pushing you to kill yourself?
One thing that you should do immediately is to remove yourself from this toxic tangle of relationships. If you lose your relationship with your mother, then your mother isn't trying hard enough to hear you and love you. Maybe, later your relationship with mom can be repaired. But for now, your life and peace of mind are paramount.
Whenever you feel the thought of suicide, please immediately call
1-800-273-8255
Suicide prevention life line is https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Please seek help. I wish you the best as you are probably a very nice person who deserves to be happy.
If you are having suicidal ideation now please call the suicide hotline posted below, or go to your nearest ER; they will admit you if their examination indicates you could harm yourself.
If you have specific questions about clues of ways to hand people in your life, we might be helpful, but we are not qualified to deal with people who are suffering from suicidal ideation. Please get help for yourself at once. Holidays are often very difficult for people with depression and these difficulties.
Please come back and give us specifics!! If you are feeling suicidal--please call that hotline or simply go to an ER.
You will find a LOT of support here!! We may only be cyber friends, but we're friends.
(HUGS)
What I want to ask you right now is: why should YOU die and not the old hag?
Why should you sacrifice your young life for an evil person?
I bet if you die, she will not be sad, in fact, she might just be happier.
Why would you give her that satisfaction of pushing you to kill yourself?
One thing that you should do immediately is to remove yourself from this toxic tangle of relationships. If you lose your relationship with your mother, then your mother isn't trying hard enough to hear you and love you. Maybe, later your relationship with mom can be repaired. But for now, your life and peace of mind are paramount.
Whenever you feel the thought of suicide, please immediately call
1-800-273-8255
Suicide prevention life line is https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/