When my Grandmother passed away around 9 months ago, I took on the role of caring for my Grandfather as he would never have coped alone. I began staying overnight, cooking, cleaning and accompanying him to places he wanted to visit.
Since the Covid-19 pandemic, I couldn't visit or see him in person so I took to calling most days to check in on him and delivering food. I recently started a new job and have moved house, subsequently, I have become much busier. I noticed he never calls me first and has cancelled our visits multiple times (one on my birthday!).
I'm feeling emotionally drained and guilty as a result of my relationship with him, I'm barely 20 years old and feel like I do not have the support of my family when caring for him. Am I being selfish and how do I approach this situation in a way that will work for me?
There is an old saying, “The squeaky wheel gets the grease.” Have you asked your grandfather why he stopped calling you and is cancelling your visits? And have you mentioned to your family that you could use some support?
I made the move into the city for work which he was supportive of. Initially he told me that he would prefer to see me on my own, (he's not keen on my partner or my mother's side of the family) but as I don't drive I explained that it makes sense for him to meet me in my garden. The excuses for him not to come have become more unrealistic (illness etc.) and are limited to his visits to me as I know he is visiting my uncle.
I reached out to my father and uncle around 2 months ago for support but was ignored. I may have to persist with calling and inviting him until he responds!