My FIL recently put in a nursing home with hospice care. His son would like to talk and see him on facetime due to covid-19. Advice?

I just did this with my father. Call the activities coordinator and ask to have a facetime session. Some places require that you make an appointment. The place he is in now had me on a session 20 minutes after my first phone call requesting one.

Why does he need Moms permission. If Dad wants to and son wants to then do it. She sounds controlling to me. I don't think Hospice has the right, first of all, to say yes or know. To be honest, they are not there 24/7. You would need to set it up with the Unit manager or whomever is in charge of that wing/floor. The staff has probably done it a number of times. If your FIL is not on dialysis, and there is no kidney function then his days are numbered and so is his cognitively. The toxins are now in his blood stream and eventually he will be septic and pass. So I suggest, the sooner the better.

I think you are looking at something that you pretty much admit is for the son. Not for the Dad. I would go through the Mother-in-law and be as supportive as you are able, and to plead with her to at least ask Dad if he would like to do this. The thing most people don't get about the dying is that they are very self-absorbed, and it is very difficult for them to think or care about even very dear family members. There is an ancient expression with us from medieval times : "Turning the face to the wall". The dying disengage from the living. The living become problematic. They are the people that they dying feel responsible to "put on a good face" for. And the dying simply are too busy for that. It is very difficult but as a nurse I saw this over and over again. Encourage the son to tell the Mother in law that he is so thankful she is there for the father, that this has to be a hard and heartbreaking time for her. I am hopeful that the relationship of the son and the Dad was good enough that he has made peace in his heart. I just lost my dear bro two months ago. I was not able to be at his side as hospice administered to him. At the end the nurse asked me if I wanted her to attempt to wake him so I could "say goodbye" and I told her no, I wanted him comfortable and that she should tell him "Alva is with you; it's OK. You will always be together". She did that. He could only rouse enough to squeeze her hand; she said she knew he heard and was trying to tell her he did. The love we bore one another all our lives made his passing all right for us. I hope the son will have peace that whatever was resolved in a relationship is a great blessing, and what is unresolved? Well, I am an atheist, but IF there is anything out there after, then there is perfect understanding. I truly believe that. So perhaps I am more an agnostic. Good luck in this most difficult time.