My father will not respect my wishes to stay off the topic of the Dr. who diagnosed him with alcoholic dementia & losing his license. Advice?

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Whenever I am with my 88 year old independent father (widow) he is relentless about getting his drivers license back and the conversation - no matter how hard I try to move off topic - keeps coming back. He keeps digging at me to converse with him about it; to the point that he is condescending, agitated, and blameful. I try not to reason with him any longer, try to change the subject, tell him I am not ‘going there’...to telling him I will have to leave if he persists. He is trying to be manipulative in getting his license back with doctors, wants me to write letters for him, and works hard at figuring out what he can do to sway them. It’s all he thinks about. I have shortened my visits with him. I work hard at making his day better for him, and it goes sour very quickly because he is stuck on it. It’s been 9 months. 2 Geriatric doctors later....he has no insight to understand why he cannot get his license back. I don’t want any part of it and it frustrates him as he says I am the only one who can help him. How do we move on?

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They also get self centered.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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The first thing that goes in a Dementia/ALZ person is their reasoning. They get something in their head and no amount of explanation will change it. I agree that maybe a medication would help. I also agree that Dad may need more care than independent living can give.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Perhaps another strategy would be to inform his prior car insurer. Has he received a cancellation of car insurance notice? If so, keep that posted somewhere in plain sight. You are handling the situation well. It's unfortunate when people with dementia/cognitive decline get stuck on something because they never will understand the explanation. We go through this with my FIL on a regular basis. Maybe bring a distraction?
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Reply to NYDaughterInLaw
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You mentioned "dementia" and " insight" in the same paragraph. Folks with dementia in general have no insight into their deficits.

I agree with the idea of taking him to a geriatric psychiatrist.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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Instead of trying to handle this obsession alone, document what Dad says and when and speak with his doctor. There is medication for Alzheimer’s patients with obsessive behaviors. The doctor may refer him to a neurologist or a geriatric psychiatrist. You may want to consider going up a level in Dad’s care. He may be beyond Independent Living.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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