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My Dad has dementia and has had 5 bouts with cancer. My Mom needs some in-home care to help out with bathing, maybe feeding, and light house work.

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Call your local VA dept. Set up an appt with their rep. Take all your Dads records. If he served during a war, he may be able to get Aids and Attendance.
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Even if his income is too high, if his dementia is advanced, he will qualify as Class 4, 'Catastrophically Disabled Veteran.'
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DD214 if the gate-opener. Then it comes down to combat vs no combat zone duty and income/asset level. The VA has a website and there is a link at the bottom of this page about veteran's benefits.
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Pokey, I am not familiar with military benefits, but I did find articles here on Aging Care that I hope can help point you in the right direction:

https://www.agingcare.com/veterans-assistance
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