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This is one of those things if you called the VA and spoke with five different people, you would get six different answers.   A buddy of mine was just last night telling me they had investigated this for his mom in the event his vet dad went first.  The answer seemed to be his moms assets would have to be very low, even lower than the 80K limit for aid and attendance for the vet himself  They somehow gamed the system to make sure that would be the case if his dad went first.   (the rules are different than Medicaid concerning clawbacks).    His mom died first so it never became an issue. 

Anyway, try this link

Might be a starting point.

I have thought after I get through my dads current situation, I may try to bone up and become sort of a volunteer expert on VA issues so I can help others.  My own father is about to transfer to a VA contract nursing home for FREE.  Originally we were told he did not qualify, and he does not as he is not 70% service related disabled.   But what we were not told in the beginning is that since he is now on hospice, he can go to a nice SNF for free.  So that is good, but had we known that to begin with my mom would have saved a lot of money and my dad some moves. 
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