We had someone show up at our house with their elderly father in tow about 10 years ago. It was very strange, as they did not contact us ahead of time to give us a heads up, they just showed up and the old man thought he would just wander around the garden and enter the house.
It was not his childhood home, but the house he had raised his family in and was new when they moved in. He was very upset that several of the fruit tress were gone, could not understand that they were not there when we moved in. Did not like the wall colour in the living room, or that we had taken up the carpets to expose the hardwood floors. All in all it was upsetting for him and a bit of an invasion of privacy for us.
You would mean it to be comforting and enjoyable for him, but it wouldn't be. Even if he did recognise the place, the whole of the rest of the world would be out of sync for him - people would be the wrong ages, the seasons wouldn't be what they are in his deepest memories, it would just be horrendously confusing and surreal. And, besides, how are you going to explain that he doesn't live there any more when it's time to leave?
Don't do it. Ask questions to encourage him to talk about his past home, use photographs, maps if he's up to it; and then when it's the next meal time or bedtime or whatever assist him with that job and explain that he's best staying here "for now."
Your question got cut off, but I would advise against taking your Dad to see his home. My mom wanted to go “home”, too. She talked about sitting on the front porch with her mother and father and their dog.
Chances are, your dad will be upset when he sees that his previous home has changed. If there’s someone living there, they may have painted the house, planted trees, etc. there might be a different car in the driveway. Dad will be looking for people who aren’t longer there, like my mom would have.
I wouldn't subject him to this, especially if his previous home is a distance away.
It was not his childhood home, but the house he had raised his family in and was new when they moved in. He was very upset that several of the fruit tress were gone, could not understand that they were not there when we moved in. Did not like the wall colour in the living room, or that we had taken up the carpets to expose the hardwood floors. All in all it was upsetting for him and a bit of an invasion of privacy for us.
You would mean it to be comforting and enjoyable for him, but it wouldn't be. Even if he did recognise the place, the whole of the rest of the world would be out of sync for him - people would be the wrong ages, the seasons wouldn't be what they are in his deepest memories, it would just be horrendously confusing and surreal. And, besides, how are you going to explain that he doesn't live there any more when it's time to leave?
Don't do it. Ask questions to encourage him to talk about his past home, use photographs, maps if he's up to it; and then when it's the next meal time or bedtime or whatever assist him with that job and explain that he's best staying here "for now."
Chances are, your dad will be upset when he sees that his previous home has changed. If there’s someone living there, they may have painted the house, planted trees, etc. there might be a different car in the driveway. Dad will be looking for people who aren’t longer there, like my mom would have.
I wouldn't subject him to this, especially if his previous home is a distance away.