My father insists that he wants to die at home and will not go into a care facility, however his household conditions are not good. What are my options?
He has basically hijacked my entire life and is insisting that I take care of him until he dies. He lives in an old mobile home next door to me and it is falling apart. He will do nothing to help care for himself, threatens to "blow his brains out" if I try to put him in a home. I have absolutely no help and I work a full time job. What he is expecting of me is far beyond what I am capable of. His house is in very poor condition, when he was well he did not take care of it and lived in filth...now that he is unwell, it is far worse. Beyond anything I can do. Honestly, it should probably be condemned. I cannot have him live with me, we do not get along that well and it would be a far worse situation than I am dealing with now. My doctor told me my blood pressure is very high (I have never had high blood pressure in my life). My father needs nursing care. He does not bathe himself even though he lies to me and says he does. He smells horrible. I do his laundry, however, he rarely changes his clothes. I am really at my wits end and do not know how much longer I can continue living this way. I definitely cannot take care of him for another winter, this is definitely the last. He has very little money. He is a Veteran of Korean war. I do not know what resources are available to him. I really need to talk to someone about options so I can get control of my life back. Someone recently suggested to me that if I don't do more for him I could get in trouble for elder neglect because of his living conditions....which scared me, however I cannot do more for him. I am not a nurse, I have to work full time, and I am just not capable of doing more than I already am doing.