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If you can't fix it, contain it. Meaning as you can't fix his memory ☹️ aim to contain the anxiety. Ask his Doctor if medication will help.

Go in with smiles & warmth. Even on the days he doesn't know you or Mom, you will be adding joy to his day by being kindly new friends. (((Hugs)))
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Reply to Beatty
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People should introduce themselves by name and relationship. Create a scrapbook with pictures of him with family members and friends. Always label the pictures with names, relationships, and activities. My MIL seems to appreciate pictures I send that help her to remember my husband, myself, our children...

Since your father is having anxiety, talk with his doctor about medications to help him relax. Don't try over the counter or alternative medications without a doctor's OK since some of these substances can interact negatively with medications he is already taking.
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Cathleen63: Imho, perhaps you can show him photos.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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I like the advice to have photos with the name & relationship if it doesn’t make dad anxious that he can’t recall.

What would happen if you just introduce your mom and say, “you might not remember her but she remembers you” & talk about events instead of the relationship? Or does your mom want hugging and him to acknowledge her as his wife?
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Cathleen63 Oct 21, 2021
We just really want the anxiety to go down. Capgras is awful and combined with nightly wandering over the house and outside have become unmanageable. We got a spot at a great memory care place in town. Just about 2 weeks to move in date. I did move in with my mom and we split the night. I would do them all but he constantly asks after my mother and wakes her up if I do the whole night. Thank goodness he had the foresight to purchase LT care insurance otherwise I have no idea what we would do. Lewy Body Dementia mixed with Capgras Syndrome and insomnia are a cocktail that no one person should have. Thank you for your thoughts.
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Wwith the e help of a naturopath, I put my husband on essential amino acids such as gaba, 5htp, tyrosine, and L tryptophan. At night he also gets melatonin. This has reduced his anxiety and depression significantly. Furthermore, he now sleeps through night. What a relief because before he received these natural supplement he was almost unmanagable.
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Reply to Marili
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Your Dad may be remembering Mom when she was younger not at the age she is now. My daughter, RN, was helping with my Dad. He was sort of fighting her and said "PopPop its Renee". He said " No your not Renee is a little girl".
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JColl7 Sep 22, 2021
My husband also saw his children as little kids around 7 or 8. They are all grown in their forties & fifties. Once we looked at a photo album of his girls as they look today (along with their kids) and he knew who they were…then about 10 minutes after we finished with the photo album he asked me how big were his girls with his hand held out indicating the height of 7 or 8 year olds. That fast he forgot they were grown. I bet it’s the same thing. OP’s dad is thinking his wife is still “young”.
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HAve pictures of the two of them blown up large so he can see them.

Mare a big collage of different photos of them for the wall.

Mare an Album with 8×10 pictures of close family members and anyone that will be seeing him on a permanent basis and write in Big Print their Name and who they are like Wife, Daughter, Son, Friend

PUT the Album within his reach so he can look at it all the time.

Also, don't let it bother you if he forgets who you are as that will just make matters worse.
Sometimes he'll remember and some days not.

Be willing to be a friend, Nurse or whomever he thinks you are at the moment.
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Reply to bevthegreat
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Thank you. Luckily we have an appointment with his doctor this week. Anything to help him with this intense anxiety would be great. I know LBD has horrible side effects with many medications or they work the opposite the way they are supposed to but the anxiety is new. Especially when he thinks he is cheating on my mother with my mother. He doesn’t recognize her even when we say who she is. Thankfully this evening he recognized her and was able to de stress a bit. This is a horrible horrible disease that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy or their family.
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Katefalc Sep 24, 2021
Omg ! My husband has the same exact thing !!! It’s called Capgras syndrome or imposter syndrome. We have been married 51 years and high school sweethearts but he thinks I’m his girlfriend and he’s cheating on his wife with me. He has enormous guilt over it and thinks his children ( 44 and 46) ads small and he abandoned them. It’s awful. He keeps saying he has to “ get home to his family” and try’s to leave. I’ve had to hide house keys so he doesn’t jam them into my car locks . I sold his truck and he’s constantly talking about driving “ home”. We started olanzapine 5 mg at 2 pm before the sundowning starts and 2.5 mg at bedtime. Look up Capgras syndrome. It’s very strange. Good luck to all of us….. this stinks !
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I would encourage everyone to introduce themselves when they greet him.

"Hi dad, it's me, Michelle, your daughter."

"Hello my handsome husband, it's your wife, Kathleen."

You get the idea.

You should also speak with his doctor about any supplements that could help his nerves. I recommend magnesium with zinc nightly, it helps over 600 functions in our body and anxiety is one of the things it helps. Many here have said that CBD oil has helped. I would try natural before chemical because LBD is terrible with drugs, usually very difficult side effects and adverse reactions to many meds.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Katefalc Sep 24, 2021
Sometimes if I say I’m his wife he becomes agitated and asks why I’m insisting I’m his wife and lying to him. Sometimes it’s easier to just stay quiet or leave the room for 5 min then come back in and divert his attention to something else. Food and snacks work most of the time
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