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His doctor agrees. Dad is 86 and can no longer drive. I live 2 hrs away and my sister lives 1 1/2 hrs away. Due to our own health issues it's getting harder and harder to make this drive. Dad only gets a home cooked meal once a week when we visit. He no longer cooks or even knows how to use the microwave. He mostly sleeps during the day. At night he roams the country roads. Which scares us to death. I'm trying to get VA to qualify him for benefits but didn't realize how long the process takes. Dad needs to be placed ASAP.

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My dad is 86 also and still trying to drive. Police came and told him not to drive. We took the keys away and he bullied my sister into giving her key to him. We filed with VA in September and still waiting on approval. Finally had doctor send letter to DPS to get license revoked.
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Vickier, I agree with Windyridge, the Power of Attorney should be all you need. The facility will assess your Dad to see if Memory Care is the right fit for him.

You would need to check to see what other benefits are given at the facility, such as weekly or daily housekeeping, weekly or daily linen service, etc. Does the facility do Dad's laundry? Etc.

Ah, driving, that is really a tough issue. Once driving stops, the elder feels they have lost all their freedom. Hopefully the facility has weekly trips to the stores so that your Dad can get out. My Dad loved the fact he was now around people of his own generation :)

Until your Dad can move into senior living, does your area offer Meals On Wheels, that way your Dad would get a nice meal once a day.
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Vickier Feb 6, 2019
Hi, I checked with meals on wheels. And was told it's not warm meals. They are frozen and he would have to reheat. The microwave now confuses him. I spoke with one facility who said he would have to be placed in memory care. We totally agree with them because dad will not go willingly. The cost is $5,000 a month. He only gets $1,850 a month so that's an issue as well. We are waiting on the VA to see if he is approved for benefits. And hope that a facility would accept that and his reg income.
Thanks for your feedback.
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Usually a POA will suffice. Some places may want a letter from a doctor stating the person can no longer care for themselves.

The driving issue is scary. This should end immediately. I went through the same situation with my dad. This is tough stuff. Had to end the driving and get both my parents in care. Good luck to you.
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Vickier Feb 6, 2019
Thank you for your response. His doctor advised us absolutely he should not be allowed to drive. 3 doctors have agreed he needs to be in memory care. He has good days and bad days. On his good days you would never know he has Dementia. But his bad days are really really bad!I
We just hope the VA comes through with benefits and we can get a facility to work with us on their costs.
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