Over the past month or so, he has numerous and constant physical complaints: burping (he swallows air to make himself burp), his sinuses bother him, his eyes are dry, his glasses don’t feel right, his dentures aren’t fitting right, and his stomach is bothering him.

He is is being treated for anxiety. He got new dentures last year and we’ve had him back to the dentist numerous times and his dentures fit perfectly.

He has brand new glasses because he complained about the old pair. His new glasses fit perfectly and they are the right prescription.

Physicians can’t find anything wrong with him. Phone calls are getting more frequent, where he insists on going to the emergency room. I’m constantly getting phone calls from him while I’m at work.

His physician said he’s entered another stage of Alzheimer’s. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I appreciate any and all input.

I like 97s idea.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29

About the sister not wanting to lose the phone. I think I would take DH number out of FIL phone and replace it with sisters number
if that wouldn’t work, I would call sister every time FIL calls. Call her without fail every time. Each and every time.
failing that and maybe first of all instead of last, block FIL number.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to 97yroldmom
Vixtoria Apr 21, 2019
Thank you. That’s actually a very good idea. I don’t think my DH would go for it, but I could arrange it myself....
Hey Vixtoria, you don't have to apologize, at all. I am there with you to a certain degree, but a bit different journey. Every journey us different, yet has some similarities.

You are amongst kindred folk here.

Be kind to yourself.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Segoline
Vixtoria Apr 15, 2019
Thank you so much. The struggle is so difficult. I’m sorry for what you’re going through.
Thank you for you words of wisdom. They are very much appreciated.

I agree with you wholeheartedly.

Please see my reply to JoAnn.

Kindest Regards,
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Vixtoria

You have my sympathy. My mother suffered from anxiety and I would often get calls in the middle of the night from her telling me men were hiding in her closet. One day when she was in the bathroom, I unplugged her phone and gave it to the nurse. When she asked where it was, I told her I’d knocked it off the table and broke it. I told her she could call me from the nurses station and God bless them, they would pretend to dial and then tell her the line was busy.

Is it possible Dad needs a higher level of care or possibly a Med’s adjustment? Perhaps call a care meeting and share your concern.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to Ahmijoy
Vixtoria Apr 14, 2019
Thank you for your support. We had adjusted his meds a while back. They added something for anxiety.

I’m very sorry to hear of your struggles with your mother. It’s just heart wrenching.
Is there a reason he needs a phone? I feel when they start abusing it, it needs to be taken away. You will get a call from AL if there is an emergency. When ur there again, just pocket the phone when he doesn't see. When he can't find it, tell him he must have lost it. Tell staff you took it. Or, remove the battery and tell him it must have died. Tell him you will get him a new battery but not really.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to JoAnn29
Vixtoria Apr 14, 2019

Thank you very much for your reply. I appreciate it very much.

I agree wholeheartedly that the phone should be taken away.

I apologize to everyone here — I was actually posting about my father-in-law, but he is like a father to me. His Alzheimer’s affects me as well as my husband. And it greatly affects our relationship.

It has been my thought for quite a while that the cell phone needs to go, and he can ask staff to make phone calls ‘that get a busy signal.’

I’ve been intimately involved with others who have Alzheimer’s, so this is nothing new to me, but it is much, much more personal.

I was hoping my husband would read my post, and he found it quite by accident while he was searching for help!

My husband is at his wits end with the constant phone calls. He and his sister have POA over my father-in-law.

He brought the subject up to his sister about disabling the phone, but she wasn’t open to the idea. She lives two hours away, so my husband gets all of the sundowning calls, morning, noon and afternoon calls.

Her thought is to to hire someone to keep him busy during the day so he’s not ruminating on things that make him anxious. I’m not so sure this will work, but given the circumstances, we have to give it a try.

Thank you again, JoAnn.

I think you will need to set some firm boundaries with yourself.
You need to not answer the phone. If there is a problem the ALF will call you. Decide how often you will call him or stop in to visit. One or two times a week maybe. If that is too hard for you, then call him once a day for a week then every other day for a week and then every third day for a week until you get it where you can handle it. Call him at the same time so you set aside some time to relax with a cup of herbal tea and give him your attention for a few minutes.
You may need to take him to a geriatric psychiatrist to adjust his meds.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to 97yroldmom

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