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His response was, it’s because every time someone changes my shirt they hurt my scalp. My dad is 101 and a clear mind. It hurts so deeply when he says that because my husband and I have put our lives on hold to care for him. I do not sleep as he gets up three to four times a night to go to the bathroom. I feel like he doesn’t give me any credit for what I do. My brother has said he will not care for him and never calls.

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Can you switch to buttoned shirts that don't need to go over his head?
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Reply to bolliveb
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Dad may not be telling stories, it could well be that a shirt being put on or taken off causes a bit of irritation to his scalp. But that does not mean you are being negligent or rough when you help him with dressing.

As Dad cannot see his scalp, he can only go by how it feels.

My Dad has had innumerable skin cancers over the last 15 of 20 years. The ones on his back are removed by the doctor, the ones he can reach, back of his hands, face, etc, are treated with a chemo drug in an ointment. They are itchy and Dad cannot help himself, he does scratch them, yes even while sleeping.
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Reply to Tothill
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My dad has had surgery for skin cancer on his head. We now consider that to have been a huge mistake. The surgery site has never healed well and he scratches it in his sleep causing it to bleed. He’s not aware of doing this but sees the blood on the pillowcase in the morning. Your dad isn’t trying to be hurtful. He may not realize what’s happening to irritate the area. He can’t help getting up so much at night for the bathroom, as with my dad, his bladder is worn out. Your dad’s money needs to be paying for his care and when that is gone he will be eligible for Medicaid. Putting your lives on hold endangers your financial future and makes you resent him. I hope you’ll consider a change in plans for care
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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I question your assumption that he has a "clear mind".
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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Lourdyb, your profile says your father doesn't qualify for Medicaid. Can you please clarify why? Maybe others will have suggestions regarding that. Thank you.
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Reply to Geaton777
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