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My 90 yr old dad has always had a will. He had me, as the oldest daughter, and another sister as administrators. Two other devious sisters went and forced him to change it. Its been 4 yrs now. These sisters have done things the rest of us have no knowledge of. I've been told their POA was obtained illegally. What can I do now? I'm afraid my dad's estate will be squandered away before he's even dead! What can I do, as the oldest sibling, and his first choice? Atty's are expensive. Is there a way I can gain control back before all of his things are gone?

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Tough one. If dad was cognizant of his actions (wasn't diagnosed as dementia or ALZ) then he can do anything he wants -- even subject himself to bad decisions and coersion by other family members.

If sisters are POA and dad has given them permission to manage his assets there is nothing you can do UNLESS you have clear knowledge and documented evidence that your sisters are selling property, using money from his bank accounts, etc. for self-serving reason and NOT TO BENEFIT DAD's care. For example, they are writing checks to themselves, selling stuff and not placing that money in dad's accounts, etc.

Suspicion is not going to be good enough. You will have to have documented receipts, bank records, etc. to back up your concerns.

An attorney is your best bet (if you have the proof, don't waste your money with just suspicion or hearsay on your sisters). If you can't afford attorney, then take your evidence to local Adult Protective Services and ask them for advice -- they can at least steer you in the right direction and it is reported and on file at least.

You can't gain control back without clear documented evidence that sisters are not acting in dad's best interest.

Have you discussed your concern with Dad? Did you ask him why he changed will and POA?

I'd start with asking Dad the question and understand his perspective. Express your concerns if you want and maybe Dad will change things back to you.



In my case, my mom changed her POA and will a dozen times over the last 10 yrs -- if she was mad at me, she put my estranged brother in charge, if she was mad at him, she changed it back to me, her attorney even coerced her to change it to him -- but she never signed and had a known diagnosis of dementia. In the end, I'm POA with brother.
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