My father had a stroke 4 years ago. We visit him in assisted living daily, our concern is that all he wants to do is eat and sleep? - AgingCare.com

My father had a stroke 4 years ago. We visit him in assisted living daily, our concern is that all he wants to do is eat and sleep?

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He is currently in an assisted living home that is real nice. He can go to the bathroom on his own. He understands what we say and he can talk but has to search for his words. The staff tries to get him involved, he is just not interested. Any suggestions to get him more involved, or should we just let him do what he wants? He is 87 years old.

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Thank you everyone for your commits. My sisters thought that if Dad would at least walk to the cafeteria to eat his meals which is about 50ft away from his room, it would give him some strength in his legs. He can walk. I agree that the activities should not be enforced on him if he is not interested. I am more concerned about his physical well being. Should we let this go and watch his muscles become atrophied and just let him sit and lay down like he wishes? He complains when he gets up and lays down all the time it’s obvious his strength is deteriorating. Do we give up and just let this happen? Thank you again for listening.
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Reply to Alarmed2
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My dad loved to eat and sleep too. He was never very social. Was your dad more social in years past? My mom was also much more isolated as she got older. She lived in Independent Living but chose to stay in her room 99% of the time. She had no short-term memory and was hard of hearing. I think those two things impacted her willingness to be around other people. Your dad has some deficits from his stroke, so may not feel like dealing with other people. I think generally most men have less of a need for socializing than most women. I'd say just let him do what he wants, as long as he doesn't seem depressed about being alone so much of the time.
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Reply to blannie
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That is how my dad would have been. He was a strong independent man and quickly lost his life to a massive stroke. It is great that your dad wants to eat and can sleep. A blessing that you can visit him everyday. Going with those three positives, a huge plus for his wellbeing. Does he look forward to meals with you, can you bring in a special snack, fresh fruit, garden veggies, a bouquet or just a single flower or a plant that he could take care of? Does he enjoy reading, music, sports or video games? I’m thinking that he must have been a strong independent hard working man and maybe doesn’t need to be involved with the busyness of arranged activities if he can entertain himself. Then slowly make some friends there and want to be in their company, playing cards, games or outdoor activities. Best wishes for you and your father. (((Hugs)))
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Reply to SpiritDancer
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I wonder why we always want our parents involved with activities?? When my mother was in Assisted Living she didn’t do any activities. I had the calendar hanging up next to her chair, highlighted things that would interest her, and she wouldn’t go. She would go down when it was hearing aid cleaning day, it that’s all. Now that she’s in Nursing Home section, she’s always doing activities, never in her room. Maybe we think our parents should join in, but they don’t feel that need.
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Reply to LisaNJ
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