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Father is an A**Hole. Completely.
Mother is use to being treated like a servant. Not loved. I hate my father.
Mother won't speak up. My father accused us of intimidating and scared of us. We are hardly home.
Grand kids are depleting their money. They are taking the fathers side and need suggestions how to handle this. Kids are financially abusing them.

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I would worry about Mom. I would report Dad to APS saying that he is not caring for Mom correctly. I may also report that his grands are taking advantage of him. That money is going to be needed for grandmoms future care.
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Your mother, if she's abused, is probably afraid of dad and afraid to speak up. In her mind the question may be who will take care of her if your father won't or doesn't. Can she be removed from the home to a facility? I'm not suggesting she move into anyone's home because that would cause more problems than already exist.
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Your father can give money to whomever he pleases. There is no mention here of his being incompetent in his own care and decisions. You say you are seldom "home". Whose home is this. Does your father and mother live with you or do you live with him. If the latter is the case, it is time to move out, move on and move away from all this. I doubt that your parent's marriage and your father's treatment of your mom has changed overall over the years. It is unlikely to change now. The only answer when dealing with unpleasant people is NOT to deal with them.
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Document EVERYTHING, OBJECTIVELY.

No one care what YOUR relationship was with your father, but factual observation can help your mother.

Take videos, when you can safely, of all incidents.

If available to you, document/copy indications of grandchildren taking money.

Use emergency services when “incidents” occur.

Limit your presence to absolute necessity.
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Call adult protective services and report your parents as vulnerable adults.

Do not provide any care if you are being accused of abuse.
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