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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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It is quite common in late middle and middle stages of dementia. There is another home in his head that he wants to find. You really can't know what home that is unless you have access to old snapshots. His mind is living in the past. As Oliver Sacks, the neuroscientist who studied the brain all his life said, they have a very real world; it just isn't our world.
Taking my Aunt "back home" or showing her the house number, mailbox, neighborhood, etc,. never worked for my Aunt. What did work was distracting her with activity right before the time of day when the Sundowning would start: we had her "being helpful" by folding a lot of kitchen towels, helping with food prep (didn't matter if she got it wrong), playing a board or card game (rules don't matter), etc. Just saying that you need to choose where you put their energy if the driving around strategy doesn't work you need to do something else, or consider medication for agitation/anxiety.
Yes, this is SO very common with folks suffering from dementia. If driving him around helps him then I say keep it up, because this stage hopefully won't last long. Several of the folks in my caregiver support group had to do exactly what you're doing with their loved one with dementia by driving them around and then coming back home saying that they're home now. And it seemed to work well. Other times when someone with a broken brain says they want to go home, they are referring to their childhood home where their parents were and where they felt safe. And because their short term memory is gone, but the long term memory is still there, that is the home they remember. There is nothing easy about dementia, but you must remember that this too shall pass.
This sounds like Sundowning (where an elder with dementia insists on "going home" but the home they desire is not their current home but one from their youth, with their parents and siblings still living in it). More information from you would be helpful. Is this a new behavior that he suddenly started having? Is this the only odd behavior he is displaying? You really should take him in for a medical exam, he could have a UTI or some other medical explanation for this behavior, some of which may be treatable. https://www.agingcare.com/topics/19/sundowners-syndrome
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I wish you the best.
If driving him around helps him then I say keep it up, because this stage hopefully won't last long.
Several of the folks in my caregiver support group had to do exactly what you're doing with their loved one with dementia by driving them around and then coming back home saying that they're home now. And it seemed to work well.
Other times when someone with a broken brain says they want to go home, they are referring to their childhood home where their parents were and where they felt safe. And because their short term memory is gone, but the long term memory is still there, that is the home they remember.
There is nothing easy about dementia, but you must remember that this too shall pass.