My father (94) has Alzheimer’s and he has become physically abusive to my mother (91). We need to remove him from the home, but we're worried no place will take him. Any advice?

Thank you all for your responses.

I am so sorry your family has to go through this at the end of your dad's life. I hope hospice can get his meds adjusted to calm him down. {{{Hugs}}}

Morphine allergy can cause bad agitation as well.

I hope you find a way to calm him down so he can stay at home through the end, especially since this is moms desire. It would break her heart to put him out of the house at this time. She needs to be safe but her heart needs tending as well. God Bless all of you.

My father is home with 24 hour care. He is on Ativan and morphine. No uti. He no longer eats and now had congestion in his chest. He is hallucinating and no longer talks or recognizes any of us. We really believe his time is very short.

Ativan can have the exact opposite effect as intended on some. My mom was one of those. Ask hospice about trying a different anti anxiety med.

Hi, this is just a thought and you probably know more about it than I do, but my mother now lives with me and my husband and has vascular dementia bad, and has already had 2 UTI's since we got her a few months ago, and we just learned that UTI's make them MEAN as H E double L! Not exactly sure why? But after her first episode and uti, we knew just as soon as she got the 2nd one, because she got mean again! And of course men can get them too. So anyway, just a thought but I would also think health care would have tested for it, but just incase, please be sure to check into the signs to watch for and have both your parents tested often, because UTI's will KILL if left untreated! (I myself was not aware of any of this before) Hope things get better for all of you!
Please let me know if you have already been through a uti treatment with either of them.

Elderly get very strong when agitated. Mom got like this 2cweeks before her death.

Maybe he is tired of people bothering him.

I am very concerned about the entire situation. So sorry you are all you g through this. In the case of danger, if. Anyone is a harm to themselves or others, you really need to contact the police. It concerns me also, if he has the strength to be physically abusive, why hospice? Drugs for aggressive behaviors could actually be part of the cause. Over medicated or interactions with other meds. This behavior is usually a sign of discomfort or infection,sugar too low or high, blood pressure etc.

Adivan, lots of Adivan.

Thank you both. Yes, hospice thinks it is better for him to be home and this is what my mother wants. Meds and hospice are there every day. Right now they are trying to figure out what dosages to give him to settle him down and today he was still very agitated. There is 24 hour care in the house as of yesterday. We realize my mother’s safety is our number one priority. She, however, is very unrealistic about his agitation and hospice is also aware of this. She is very frail and it would take very little to hurt her seriously.

Hospice should have left meds at your home to give your father for agitation. If your dad moves into a nursing home hospice--and their meds--can go with him.

The number one priority is keeping your mom safe. That comes above all else.

Have you talked to Hospice about his agitation? There are meds that can be administered that will calm him, so that perhaps he can be kept at home.

Another thing to consider is a Hospice facility, if your hospice provide has one.  In any event, call your hospice contact today and tell them that this is an emergency and you need advice right away.  They should be able to send a nurse out to assess the situation quickly.