He is under hospice care but has recently become very unpredictable. We are heart sick over this. We need to remove him from the home and put him in a nursing home. We are worried no place will take him in his agitated state. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Have you talked to Hospice about his agitation? There are meds that can be administered that will calm him, so that perhaps he can be kept at home.

Another thing to consider is a Hospice facility, if your hospice provide has one.  In any event, call your hospice contact today and tell them that this is an emergency and you need advice right away.  They should be able to send a nurse out to assess the situation quickly. 
Helpful Answer (20)

Hospice should have left meds at your home to give your father for agitation. If your dad moves into a nursing home hospice--and their meds--can go with him.

The number one priority is keeping your mom safe. That comes above all else.
Helpful Answer (17)

Thank you both. Yes, hospice thinks it is better for him to be home and this is what my mother wants. Meds and hospice are there every day. Right now they are trying to figure out what dosages to give him to settle him down and today he was still very agitated. There is 24 hour care in the house as of yesterday. We realize my mother’s safety is our number one priority. She, however, is very unrealistic about his agitation and hospice is also aware of this. She is very frail and it would take very little to hurt her seriously.
Helpful Answer (12)

Hi, this is just a thought and you probably know more about it than I do, but my mother now lives with me and my husband and has vascular dementia bad, and has already had 2 UTI's since we got her a few months ago, and we just learned that UTI's make them MEAN as H E double L! Not exactly sure why? But after her first episode and uti, we knew just as soon as she got the 2nd one, because she got mean again! And of course men can get them too. So anyway, just a thought but I would also think health care would have tested for it, but just incase, please be sure to check into the signs to watch for and have both your parents tested often, because UTI's will KILL if left untreated! (I myself was not aware of any of this before) Hope things get better for all of you!
Please let me know if you have already been through a uti treatment with either of them.
Helpful Answer (11)

I completely understand. This happened in my family too. There was a point earlier in my dad's dementia that he attacked my mom. He was still physically able to walk and get around with a cane/walker. Luckily we had already gotten him in with a geriatric psychiatrist. My mom told the dr and they adjusted his medication. As his dementia progressed, he was not physically as able, but he had moments of verbal abuse as he thought she was cheating on him. In his final stages his hallucinations were just terrible as he thought people were trying to kill him (maybe WWII flash backs?). In any case, he needed additional medication tweaks (which were ultimately done in a hospital setting due to the extreme agitation at his adult day care). My heart goes out to you. I know you will protect your mom and make sure she's not home alone with him. Medication can certainly help. I think my dad had resperidone. At the end, they tried many things and he was calmer (this was before hospice care).
Helpful Answer (10)

Ativan can have the exact opposite effect as intended on some. My mom was one of those. Ask hospice about trying a different anti anxiety med.
Helpful Answer (9)

Hospice has told us that my dad probably will not make it thru the day. This has been a living hell for him.
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My father is home with 24 hour care. He is on Ativan and morphine. No uti. He no longer eats and now had congestion in his chest. He is hallucinating and no longer talks or recognizes any of us. We really believe his time is very short.
Helpful Answer (7)

Morphine allergy can cause bad agitation as well.

I hope you find a way to calm him down so he can stay at home through the end, especially since this is moms desire. It would break her heart to put him out of the house at this time. She needs to be safe but her heart needs tending as well. God Bless all of you.
Helpful Answer (7)

The advice to talk to the Hospice Team is your best bet.
The Doctor and the Nurse can get anxiety under control with medication. Once that has been taken care of either at home or he may be taken to an In Patient Facility until the medications have worked then you can decide if he has to be removed from the home or he can stay.
From your last comment it does sound like his time is short.
Please do not let these last few days of agitation be the thing you remember. Keep in mind what he was doing was not him but this terrible disease.
I do hope Hospice has helped you and your family. And I hope your Dad is finally able to rest easy. Keep telling him that you, and your Mom will be alright and let him know it is alright to go...
Helpful Answer (6)

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