My Ex MIL whom I am extremly close to has sold her home in another state and moved in with us. After her home sellls she wants to use that money to build an ADU on our property so we can care for as she ages (she is closer to us then her own two kids). She has no other assets so she does not have a will or trust. She has written and notarized a letter of intent regarding this decision as well as all 3 of us completed and notarized a Care and Housing Agreement stating that the ADU as she requested would be part of our property and shall not be considered a separate asset of hers and there will be no repayment or reimbursement expected of us. This is her wish. We are delighted to care for her as we love her and she spends all her holidays with us as is and I was having to travel to her state for medical appts etc.. My question is in re: to if she ends up needing some type of care that I am not able to provide for her which would be if something signifigant happened. Will she be penalized for having those funds from her home sale put into her ADU on our property? She is not on our deed and I was told we only needed these two agreements notarized. I do have a POA medical and financial. This stuff is so tricky just want to make sure we are all doing the appropriate thing for her protection. Most Elder Law attorneys I have spoken too said they really don't do agreements and since she doesnt need a will or trust don't want to talk to me.
You need to talk to an Elder Lawyer well versed in Medicaid law.
I hope igloo is around this a.m. because if anyone has good solid answers she may have them for you. Wishing you good luck. But be certain to explore this carefully LEGALLY.
Please know that being someone's PoA does NOT mean you will the one providing her hands-on daily care. My Mom lives next door to me and I've arranged for agency aids to come in every day because I'm not interested in being her caregiver to the level she now needs because I wouldn't have a life. You need to think deeply about this arrangement and her expectations of your involvement. She may be sweet and lovely now but dementia could make her stubborn, uncooperative and paranoid: ie, a nightmare to deal with.
She's coming to you with no assets other than the funds from her house sale. This is very problematic if she develops dementia and requires MC, which is very expensive. Who's gonna pay for that? This is when you inadvertently turn into a hands-on on-call caregiver to a very unpleasant person.
If she lives on your property and is from out of state (so doesn't have local friends) then this automatically makes you her Entertainment Committee. This is a hard no, IMO.
Please convince her to move into a continuum of care community, where she starts out in IL, then when her care needs increase she can seamlessly move into AL, then MC, then LTC and hospice. She will have all sorts of social exposure and others will be watching over her -- you can visit her to your heart's content.
Her living on your property when her care needs increase is no different than her being in a facility -- except you're her staff. Burnout is a real phenomenon. Caring for a needy elder in your home can ruin marriages, even if the spouse was initially very supportive. No one can imagine how draining caregiving can be.
Please read others' stories on this forum under the Care Topic: Burnout. Do not have her live with you or on your property. This may disappoint her, but no one can be assumed into a caregiving role. Don't do it -- especially when she doesn't have enough/any money.
How the proposed arrangement impacts Medicaid is NOT your main issue. Being assumed as a hands-on caregiver to a broke senior is.