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My mother has a myriad of ailments, one of which is fibromyalgia. When her doctor refers her to a psychiatrist, she decides the doctor doesn't understand what she needs and refuses to continue treatment. All she wants is a prescription of xanax. She has now seen 2 doctors who have concluded she needs to see a psychiatrist and both doctors refused to refill the xanax, at which time my mother quit seeing the doctors. The information my mother tells me is filled with half-truths, making it appear the doctors are incompetent and/or unwilling to treat her properly. In the meantime, she has lost a significant amount of weight because she is either in too much pain to make a meal, or too weak. I have called private services to help her with meal preparation, but she has found reasons to not use them. In fact, every possible plan I have come up with she has found reasons each will not work. I am at my wits end. She needs help, but refuses to take it. She needs medical care, but refuses treatment plans. I feel like she is intentionally avoiding getting the help and care that she needs. She will literally say in one breath that she needs help, then turn around and say she doesn't. Does anyone have suggestions as to what I can do to remedy this situation?

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I have no experience with Fibromyalgia but any condition with debiliting pain is very depressing.
Naturally she could be addicted to Zanax but she does have a credible reason for needing it.
There seems to be a big push these days to deprive the elderly of many anti depressant and anti anxiety drugs because the are "bad for them"
I have taken an antidepressent for many years and a little anti anxiety when I can't sleep. Several times when I have been hospitalized they have simply not been given to me nor prescribed when discharged. I have no intention of giving them up.
As far as the psychiatrist is concerned, this could be a back door way of getting Mom evaluated for dementia, which she probably would not agree to do on her own. It could well help her deal with the health conditions she is suffering from. A neurologist is also an excellent idea as this will help discover any underlying prom in the near dept
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Sounds like she’s drug seeking. Of course she’s not going to tell you that’s what she’s doing. That was an effective way to get the drug of choice in the 1980s-1990s but that’s not going to work nowadays.

The funny thing is, a psychiatrist would be more inclined to give her some Xanax OR he might give her something stronger.

How old is she? Just to look at her does she seem to be in fair shape, not withstanding her chronic pain?

Sometimes a myriad of ailments and symptoms is at the core, depression.  Or dementia. Or both.

If you want to get her to the psychiatrist tell her he’ll be more inclined to ‘write’ for her and she could get Xanax.
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There is an interesting post from a member whose mom was dx'ed with fibromyalgia and given lyrica. Doc also asked her to see a psychiatrist when the symptoms of fibro worsened and she became psychotic.

It seems she doesn't have fibro, but depression related to brain changes from a stroke.

I think seeing a psych doc is a good idea.
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Your mom can have fibromyalgia and a mental illness at the same time. Ditto for diabetes, cancer or lupus. All can co-occur.

Mom's doctor clearly sees a need for psychiatric intervention.
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I agree with livingsouth. My mom has had fibromyalgia since the early 2000s and has never had to see a psychiatrist. It’s not a mental disease. I would never force my mother to get mental help for it!
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Not sure about the Xanax, unless she has anxiety, but if a doctor is implying that Fibromyalgia is a 'mental problem' then she needs to find a new doctor!
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How long ago did your mother have her most recent dose of xanax? Did she have medical supervision during the withdrawal period, or did her doctor expect her to do it herself? Is that in part what the referral to a psychiatrist was for? To help her through withdrawal?
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Having been around someone who would do anything to get more Xanax I would be thinking that’s all she’s interested in. I wonder if you told her that she needs a doctor who understands the benefits of Xanax for her condition and that’s who you are taking her to If she would be more receptive?
You would be addressing the fact that you know she “needs” the Xanax and possibly getting her in front of someone who could prescribe an alternative and help her through this. You could be very sorry the doctor didnt comply if it goes south.
I hope you are able to get her help.
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Unfortunately the elderly often have negative reactions to seeing psychiatrists because when they were growing up only "crazy people" (who belong in asylums or mental hospitals) went to see the psychiatrist and "normal" people did not. Also, your Mom may be concerned that you are trying to get her committed to a nursing home by having the psychiatrist declare her as incompetent.

Fibromyalgia is a physical and mental and emotional disease that a primary care physician can treat him/her-self or the PCP can refer the patient to a psychiatrist or a rheumatologist or some one who specializes in fibromyalgia. Ask your Mom's doctor for a referral to a rheumatologist who specializes in fibromyalgia since he (your Mom's doctor) apparently does not feel comfortable treating someone with fibromyalgia. [Some doctors and people of the general public are of the opinion that fibromyalgia is "ALL IN THEIR HEAD" and that the person is just looking for sympathy when actually that person is really in pain.] Look up your local Fibromyalgia Support Group as they might have a list of doctors who treat the disease. I would probably quit seeing doctors too if they didn't seem to be listening to me and didn't seem to empathize with my health problems.

Also depression and anxiety can be associated with fibromyalgia. I don't understand why the 2 doctors are refusing to refill your Mom's Xanax unless she is taking more medication then ordered. If that is part of the problem, you could use a WEEKLY PILL BOX and put a week's worth of Xanax in the pill box and hide the rest until the following week.

I don't know if your Mom is "intentionally avoiding getting the help and care that she needs". Maybe she is just as frustrated as you are and one of the ways she has to show this frustration is to not go to the doctor appointments. Hope that these suggestions help your Mom find the treatment that she needs.
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Take her to a neurologist or psychiatrist who specializes in the treatment of folks with cognitive problems.

Make an appoinment. Send the doctor a short list of your mom's health issues and the reason for the visit. Take her lunch, then to the doctor. You're stopping by the pick up a script for yourself, or whatever therapeutic fib you need to tell to get her there.

Don't expect your mom to understand why she needs to see a psychiatrist. Just get her to one.
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