Time for placement. You can try to dress her in garments to prevent it - but she won’t understand. You’ll still be cleaning up after her in a different way.
When dementia gets advanced, it's common for some elders to urinate or even defecate on upholstered furniture or the carpet or floor. I saw it frequently when I worked in a Memory Care Assisted Living facility in 2019. Either dress your mother in an Alzheimer's anti strip suit with a Depends underneath, which she CANNOT remove, or take her to the toilet every 2 hours religiously and stay with her in the bathroom. This won't guarantee she will stop urinating on the sofa, but it may cut down the chances. So will watching her closely.
I had a patient whose partner whose partner pulled down her pants and defecated on the living room rug. Later she defecated in a tub and the fire department had to pull her out. I tell you this because I believe what has happened with your elderly mother will only get worse as she seems to have dementia. Some here suggested various kinds of under garments but if the person wants to pull down their pants they will manage to do so. I think she requires placement or at the very least a home aide who will take her to the toilet every 2 hours or so. She doesn’t know what she is doing and simply feels the pressure to urinate and just as she was when toilet trained years ago, she manages to remember to pull down her pants. She may also have a UTI which increases urgency so that should be checked. In the meantime, get pads for your sofa and any chair/ bed she uses.
I think, if this is any example of things happening, that you may require memory care placement soon? I cannot imagine how you will handle this, and of course your Mom cannot control this.
Definitely have her checked for UTI as soon as you can to rule out infection.
If you are not able to have enough day & night help to watch her, then try covering all furniture she sits in with disposable Chux, washable chair pads or both if she is a heavy urinater. Or use towels with plastic under, but that may slip.
Possibly try a commode chair. It’s ones of those that has a bucket underneath that you would empty as needed. It’s not a piece of furniture that you’d sit in to watch tv or get comfy, but possible she may start using it. Is there any way to limit the furniture available to her? At least that way, you’d only have to throw out (or clean) one chair instead of several. Or is there anyway to limit the rooms or areas she can get to? Shutting or locking doors to certain rooms so she can’t go in there? Maybe buying some inexpensive plastic or hard chairs, using pads to wash or dispose of for some comfort. Maybe folding lawn chairs?
So many changes, compromises and allowances have to be made when keeping your loved one at home. Sometimes you just can’t do enough. Please be kind to yourself in trying to get through this tough time
By the time my mom was in memory care she started going to the bathroom in any sort of trash can she could find. Not as difficult to deal with as the sofa you are experiencing for sure, but she had to be taken to the toilet more often and eventually put in depends, even though she was not incontinent. There was no way to stop her. She just had to be watched.
My mother began doing this at night. We are keeping her at home and have 24-hour caregivers. We installed a monitor system that alerts the caregiver at night when my mother leaves her bedroom. When the caregiver is alerted, she immediately gets up to guide my mother to the bathroom. This stopped the problem of her urinating in various rooms and on the furniture. It seemed to retrain her to go into the bathroom, and it didn't take long.
Thank you for this reply. It seems all anyone says is "time for placement", I refuse to put my LO in a nursing home or family if any sort, as his Mother with dementia walked out aft only 3 months, never to be found and that was
Make sure they do a urine CULTURE and not just a dipstick test.
Very sorry. This problem is one of the worst.
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If you are not able to have enough day & night help to watch her, then try covering all furniture she sits in with disposable Chux, washable chair pads or both if she is a heavy urinater. Or use towels with plastic under, but that may slip.
Possibly try a commode chair. It’s ones of those that has a bucket underneath that you would empty as needed. It’s not a piece of furniture that you’d sit in to watch tv or get comfy, but possible she may start using it. Is there any way to limit the furniture available to her? At least that way, you’d only have to throw out (or clean) one chair instead of several. Or is there anyway to limit the rooms or areas she can get to? Shutting or locking doors to certain rooms so she can’t go in there? Maybe buying some inexpensive plastic or hard chairs, using pads to wash or dispose of for some comfort. Maybe folding lawn chairs?
So many changes, compromises and allowances have to be made when keeping your loved one at home. Sometimes you just can’t do enough. Please be kind to yourself in trying to get through this tough time
I agree with Barb. First, have her tested for a UTI. Then, if that isn’t the case, I would consider placement in a facility.
I am so sorry that you’re going through this difficult situation.
Please update us. Hoping that you can resolve this matter quickly.