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My elderly father passed last year and my elderly mother keeps saying she wants to be with him. Some days are good and other times she says I shouldn't be here, I want to be with him. I reassure her that she is fine and it is not her time to go yet, so lets enjoy our time together and when God decides he wants you with him, only then will you be with Dad. What else can I do?

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The SNF is saying because she has called many times in the past two months that they can't help and take care of her. I think they want to kick her out. Isn't that what a SNF is supposed to do?
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No dementia. She is 89, in a SNF, cared for, made many friends and has a very nice room. We talk everyday and I am in constant contact with the aides. She hates taking any medication. So an antidepressant would not work.
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You have nothing on ur profile. Does Mom have any form of Dementia?

If not, you r doing what you can at this point. If she does have D, then her reasoning has gone and no amount of trying to explain and reason with her will work. Just I know Mom and a hug.
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I might discuss it with her doctor and have her get a checkup to see if she is okay physically or if she might need medication. I have known a few people who were so very devastated by the loss of a loved one that they took meds for depression for a little while to help them.
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I agree with cwillie that you are doing and saying the right things. She is still mourning and obviously misses his presence. You don't mention if she lives alone. She needs to feel she has purpose in life. Can you get her out of the house? Take her places. I used to take my MIL for Sunday drives and she looked forward to them. Does she have grandchildren? If so, they should visit and encourage her. People need people. Let her know that "you need her". Does she like flowers? Many elderly women enjoy caring for flowers and watching them grow. Think of things to occupy her mind. She is lonely. God bless you for your love and concern. I know this is difficult for you.
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I'm sorry you haven't had any replies until now. Unfortunately a lot of people feel their life has lost it's purpose, I think you are saying the right things to her. Sometimes an antidepressant medication can help, does her doctor know how she is feeling?
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