I have recently discovered that my dad has been connecting with people on Facebook including fake Facebook accounts. He had 1700 friends and some of these have been asking for money. We tried to tell him that there are scammers, but he says he’s not stupid, however I have since discovered that he is sending money to some of these people including one Filipina woman he has been having an emotional affair with for nearly 2 years. How did I discover? I purchased his relatively new iPad for my son as he purchased another tablet and when I went to restore factory settings, I found multiple messages pop up one after the other. I felt sick! She has been asking for money from him to buy watches, pay for internet, have her teeth fixed etc. My mother is 89 and has been suspicious for some time, but he tries to tell her she’s crazy. We have warned him several times about scammers, but he says he's not stupid. He tells this woman he is going to marry her! The texts to each other are disgusting and I can’t believe he is treating my mother this way. He is emotionally abusive towards my mum and has threatened her multiple times. I have begged my mother to come and live with me, but she refuses to and said she doesn’t want to give up everything so he can go off with another woman. She is worried about our inheritance, but I just want my mum to live her last years happy. My brother and sister are too scared to confront my dad because of what he may do, yet I have to stand by and watch whilst he messages this woman from 6am to midnight every single day having cyber sex and continually telling her that he loves her and they will be married one day.
I get it - he is old, lonely and concerned that he may be alone one day (he is 8 years younger than my mum), but I feel sick at the thought of how he is treating my mother. He has taken her landline from her and left her with a mobile phone she simply struggles to operate. Her licence has just been revoked due to an accident she has recently had and he goes off every day and leaves my mum at home so he can talk to this woman. He is gaslighting my mum making her feel that she is going nutty and suspicious for no reason. He hates having visitors because it interrupts his talk time with his lover (I read this recently) and he complains that we never visit but every time we do, he’s on Facebook and messenger and says it’s very important he responds to all his 1700 friends. He has taken photos of my house and send them to this woman and says that everything he owns she will own one day. I really don’t care about the inheritance. I would simply prefer he just let my mum be and took everything but I also don’t want that because my mum would be absolutely devastated. I apologise for the long message, but I simply don’t know what to do or who to turn to anymore. I have thought about confronting him, but unsure if I should just let it be. I created a fake account (I know it’s bad, but was desperate) and contacted this woman pretending to be a man, in the hope I could trap her. She constantly messages me now so clearly she is doing it to several people. She has about 4 Facebook accounts that she uses. Please help.