Why does it feel like my efforts to protect Mom's meager finances are looked on with suspicion? - AgingCare.com

Why does it feel like my efforts to protect Mom's meager finances are looked on with suspicion?

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My mother's whole life has been one of financial irresponsibility. My grandparents continuously rescued my parents - through foreclosure and failed businesses and eviction. Now my mother is widowed on SS and has just been awarded a VA benefit. This is more money than she has ever had.

Yet when I talk to bank officers, social workers at her independent living community, VA counselors, doctors, and try to communicate my concerns, I feel like they think I'm trying to take advantage of her. I'm trying to protect her, keep her from giving away all her money or spending it on things she can't afford. I'm also trying to keep my siblings from taking it. I don't want her money for myself, I haven't taken any of it, I just want to make sure there is enough for her burial costs and if/when she needs nursing home care.

I guess all I can do is try to do the right thing and if others think wrong of me, there isn't much I can do about it. It's just that this is all hard enough as it is without having to deal with this extra burden.

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if you are poa its your responsibility to shelter your mom from financial harm . its an uncomfortable place to be but authorities wont question your motives unless you do something really rash . your finances will mingle with your moms . everything you do for her thats costs you has to be compensated eventually and cash is often the easiest transfer . if the sibs get too nervous just send them copies of bank statements for a few months . that should calm them down .
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I know how you feel. When I've dealt with bank reps or attorneys about my folks, I always feel like they think I'm out for my mom's money or trying to do something shady.

I think all you can do is just what you said - keep doing the right thing and know that in your heart. In reading these boards, there ARE a lot of shady children stealing/taking from their parents, so it does exist. I just wish there was a better way for others to differentiate between the crooks and those of us who are honest.
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