I am getting to be more of a burden & want to have someone to come in & help me. And, find out more about an assisted living & nursing facility. I have no one to talk to or get out. I have health problems but I am able to get around with help.
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Try a search for assisted living facilities and add your zip code. That should produce a list of places in your geographical area. Make a list of your questions and call each of them - keep notes or they will get mixed up in your memory.
Assisted living can provide the help you need AND give you social interaction with others. I think it is a win/win.
If it is a matter of just not being “on the same page” as your daughter, sit down and have an earnest talk with her. Listen to her feelings and opinions and then share your’s. Be kind and respectful since she has been your caregiver, but be firm in what you want. If you belong to a church you attend, speak with your pastor.
1. The OP says she and her daughter are "having problems." She then explains that this is because her increasing care needs mean that she is becoming a burden to her daughter. I hope "having problems" is not too much of a euphemism.
2. We have not heard back from KEYLIME.
Is AgingCare a mandated reporter, does anyone know?
Are you able to budget for Assisted Living? Depending on the area where you live, the price can vary. The average is around $5k to $7k per month.
There are some wonderful places that are built like a hotel, with 3 meals included in the cost in dining areas that resemble a restaurant and you order off a menu. There is weekly linen/towel service, and weekly housekeeping as part of the cost. And the best part, you will be around people from your own generation :)
I don't think you are ready for a nursing home. Doubt you would even be accepted at this point in time. Plus nursing homes are very expensive, where I live around $12k per month unless you can qualify for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare].
An 81 year old feels she is heading for trouble and asks for advice. She then vanishes. Oh well never mind eh? If I knew who she was, I would ask her if she was okay. That's all.
Would you mind sharing what exactly your increasing needs are?
Do you suffer from any particular illnesses?
What’s your financial situation in general, meaning can you afford an Assisted Living Facility? Do you have Medicare or Medicaid?
Understanding better your situation can guide us to provide better advice.
Finally, a person that realizes their own situation and looks for a solution is NOT a burden. You’re very assertive and resourceful (looked for help online and found this site), a solution will come soon, I’m sure.
And if you can, find a way to talk to your daughter; she’s probably as conscious as you’re of the situation getting out of both of your hands, but may not know what to do; she’s probably dealing with guilt and frustration. Talk to her when you see she’s more approachable and share with her your wishes, make sure to tell her she doesn’t have to feel guilty about you wanting to source your care somewhere else, because this is your decision made by yourself and for yourself ( I know you probably are doing it for her too).
Truly hope you’re doing ok, and I’ll say an special prayer for you today!
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