My husband is 100 percent disabled and he has a bad heart and agent orange and diabetes.

Silkie, the vast majority of grown children who care for a parent do not get paid... unless the parent can pay that grown child themselves. If the grown child is leaving a full-time job that had health insurance, then that grown child would need to purchase health insurance on the open market. Would your daughter be leaving behind her own family?

I see from your profile that your hubby is only 72 years old. Would your daughter take care of him for the next 10-20 years? And since you have your own health issues, she would then evidently become your caregiver, thus "working" 168 hours per week with no time off.

I understand fully why you prefer not to send your husband to assisting living or a nursing home, but please note that up to 40% of family caregivers die leaving behind the love ones they were caring. Those are not good odds. Being a caregiver is exhausting work as it is around the clock, seven days a week. Today's assisted living communities are not like the one's of our own parents or grandparent's past.

My Dad loved his assisted living and had wished he would have moved in much sooner. He liked being around people closer to his own generation :)
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Reply to freqflyer

Is your husband a Veteran? If so the VA may have a program where your daughter can get paid for caring for him.
In the mean time set up a caregiver contract and you pay your daughter from his funds (his Social Security, his pension whatever he has) This way there is a "paper trail that may be necessary if and when you have to begin the application process for Medicaid.
It also might be a good time to talk to an Elder Care Attorney to get all the papers you may need in the future in order.
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Reply to Grandma1954

Is your husband on medicaid? Contact them and ask for the details.
The truth is, if you are not paying her yourselves, and likely there aren't funds for that, the pay is very minimal, and she is basically giving up her life and future to do this. This almost never works out well and we see that over and over on the forum. People move their lives, give up their jobs and in no time are being told that it's over, and they need to move and get a job. And they have no money to do so.
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Reply to AlvaDeer

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