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My dad is 79, has dementia and broke his hip 3 1/2 weeks ago. Dad has always had a great appetite. Now hes not eating or drinking much. Sleeps all the time. Hes very disoriented. Stares at the light and says it's cloudy out. He doesn't remember me at times. I'm concerned as he's eating very little, very little fluids and is incontinent now. Dad started going downhill before he broke his hip but I'm scared as I don't know to expect from one day to the next it's something new every day. His brother died a wk ago of dementia and was 72. His vitals were good up until he passed. Too me dads has been low. 77 over 44 and the nursing home and hospital said that's a normal range for him. He does have congestive heart failure too. I'm so concerned for my dad. Any advice please...thank you!

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Dad has confusion before surgery and my uncle lived out of state. I have no support system. My siblings don't want anything to do with dad's dementia
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Also dad doesn't know his brother has passed yet
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Roses, thanks for the answers. Do you have close friends you can confide in? I suggest that you join a support group for caregivers of people who have dementia. They will understand your situation. Even though they are strangers, they can be a great source of support. Sometimes nursing homes sponsor such support groups.

And certainly you can come here as often as you want.

What are your thoughts about a hospice evaluation?
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Some of your father's confusion is just trying to recover from the hospital stay. It takes more than 3 weeks to get over that trauma. Did he also have the distress of losing his brother? In time there may be some improvement.

On the other hand, Father was beginning a decline before the hospital event. That decline may have continued and accelerated even without the broken hip. It is what dementia does, as you probably know from you uncle's illness (if he was near enough to you for you to be aware of his declining.)

Life expectancy for men the year your father was born was 62. In general we are living longer now, and that also means we are dealing with more of the impairments of old age. If they had died at 62, neither you uncle nor your father would have had to deal with dementia, for example.

It is a very good thing that your father is in a nursing home. They will be able to handle his day-to-day needs. It is your role to be his loving daughter, regardless of what each day brings.

I wonder if you would consider having a hospice evaluation for him at this time? If they judge him not to be eligible at this time, you can contact them again if things change. And if he goes on hospice and improves, he will be discharged from the program.

I am so sorry you are facing this. Do you have a good support system for you?
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Your Dad is probably eating less due to being less active with his healing hip. That in inself is normal. Though I do want to add that any change in normal scenery can make dementia worse ie: a hospital stay can aggravate the dementia. Give him time to adjust to his home surroundings again. Good luck.
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