My dad will shower when I tell him to but I do not think he is washing himself what can I do?

My mother lives in a Memory Care ALF & has a shower that's like a fortress. Almost impossible to fall, in my estimation, because it has grab bars everywhere, a sturdy seat to sit on, and she also has a CNA to wash her from head to toe and help her in and out. And she's STILL deathly afraid of the shower and she has STILL managed to fall twice. Well, once was just outside of the shower, and the last time, the CNA helped her to the floor. The PT and OT went in there, too, and installed rubber mats in the shower, and STILL she fell, and STILL she's petrified. So one day, a lightbulb went off in my head, literally, while driving to work. I thought, if you can't fix the shower, fix her FEET which is the cause of the falls!! Get her a pair of water shoes!! DING DING DING. I went right over to Amazon.com and purchased the snazziest, loudest, most colorful pair of rubber soled water shoes they had and voila, she's now FINE taking a shower.

Here's a link: https://www.amazon.com/Womens-Barefoot-Diving-Sports-Walking/dp/B07MVYXZJV/ref=redir_mobile_desktop?ie=UTF8&aaxitk=BMR5wHpZsVyis6q1F96zYg&hsa_cr_id=2654675690201&ref_=sb_s_sparkle

*The link says 'womens' but the actual site shows Men's

If he feels safe in the shower, and has a seat to sit on, and if you get him one of those sponge things and some shower gel that makes a lot of suds, maybe then he will wash himself. Maybe not, but maybe. When dementia is involved, even in the beginning stages, all bets are off.

Like NeedHelpWithMom said, if you can hire someone to help him shower, or, if you or your DH can help him (if he will allow such a thing), that might be a good idea too. Otherwise, at least he's standing in the water, which is more than a LOT of them are even willing to do........so be grateful for small favors, huh? :)

Best of luck!

Start by getting him a sturdy shower chair (I recommend one with a back) and a hand held shower attachment so he doesn't worry about falling and as already suggested install grab bars, if he's afraid of falling he isn't going to take time to wash properly.

I am sure that he is afraid. He very well could fall since you state he has mobility problems and dementia.

He most likely needs an aide to assist him. Call Council on Aging in your area. I am not sure if help is available for him during this crisis.

Do you have safety bars installed for him? Or what about sponge baths? Others will offer some suggestions too.

Best wishes to you and your family.