Follow
Share

My mom is 92 with Dementia. She fell in June and broke her femur bone. So she was in the hospital then went to a rehab place. While there she got very constipated and back up and we ended going back in the hospital. Mom’s rehab didn’t go well and she never got her strength back. So now she is home in hospice care and bed ridden. We were going to place her in a hospice care home but at the last minute I had a voice tell me, God, to bring her home. So I asked my dad and he said yes and thank you, he always wanted her to come back home. My sister was and still is, upset that I brought her home and is no help. My dad has bad health and so I knew he couldn’t take care of her, so I moved in with them. He was very happy at first, but now, 3 weeks later, he is feeling helpless and doesn’t want me to help. There’s a whole lot more going on, the past, etc., but not going to bore you. He wants to take care of her but he physically can’t, he can barely stand 5 minutes at her bedside. i’m just wondering if anyone else had this problem and what did they do. I refuse to leave my mom more than a few hours with him. We do have a homecare helper 2x a day for 8 hours, so that’s when I usually run errands, go to my house, etc. Just looking for what others may or are doing if you have/had this issue. Thank you.

Home hospice is hard. I did it with my dad, but if he’d lived much longer it would have become unsustainable and we’d have needed an inpatient hospice home. Sounds like your dad isn’t able to care for himself well as his health is declining, maybe he’s not seeing the whole picture clearly. You may have to back away entirely to make him see the need for more help. Look after yourself, for your health and wellness matters too
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Daughterof1930
Report

I'm a bit confused here as you say that your dad isn't accepting help yet you also say that you have "a homecare helper 2x a day for 8 hours." So he's obviously accepting that help right?
How much help do you want your dad to accept? Or is it YOUR help that he is not accepting?
If that is the case then perhaps it best that you go back home and let your dad just hire more help for your mom and you can check in a few times a week.
Or maybe it best that you once again talk to hospice about moving your mom to their facility where she will receive 24/7 care and you and your dad can spend as much time as you want with her and you and he won't be burdened with her care.
To me that sounds like the best solution at this stage of the game as I know that you want your moms passing to be as peaceful as possible for all involved.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to funkygrandma59
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter