My dad is in a skilled nursing home for the second time in two months. I'm overwhelmed. He doesn't cooperate with me and mom.

I’m so sorry that you are going through this with your parents. It’s extremely hard to watch a parent’s health decline.

Nursing homes are understaffed at times. I saw this when my mom was in rehab. It wasn’t unusual for workers to do double shifts.

Check to see if any assisted living facilities have ‘in person’ caregiver groups. I love this forum but there is nothing like being able to have in person conversations.

The one that I attended was led by a licensed social worker. She was great at keeping the meetings on track.

Best wishes to you and your family.

As one only child to another, I'm sorry you are going through this, by yourself.

Basically we are in a general labor shortage right now, affecting not just NHs. Some of it depends on where the NH is located: more rural areas will have smaller labor pools than larger, metro areas. Sometimes the issue is due to poor management, but not always.

This forum provides good support. Local, in-person support may be trickier since caregivers often can't leave their LOs to go to meet-ups. But you can search online or join Nextdoor.com and ask your actual community of neighbors if any groups exist.

It would help us to help you better if you can please answer some of the questions responders have asked you.

Sorry dad is failing. How old is he? This is an overwhelming situation so what you're feeling is normal. But I'm sure you can work to accept things a little better and get more support and relieve some of that stress.

Yes, I'd assume most nursing homes are understaffed. Make friends with some of the nurses and aids. They can be very kind and helpful.

How's your mom doing? Is she independent?

Best of luck

My question is, what are your expectations? If Dad had sepsis, what caused it Does he have Dementia. What are his health problems? What does he do by not being cooperative.

Poor you and dad. Seems like he is resigning himself to his fate, many NHs can do that.

It sounds like it may be time to leave your dad in a skilled nursing facility now since he's in such poor health and doesn't cooperate with you or your mom.
I'm sure his care is just too much for you both.
And yes, most if not all nursing facilities are running shorthanded. That's been going on since before Covid and has only gotten worse.
And other than this forum for support I would recommend you Google local caregiver support groups in your area and see what comes up.
That's how I found mine and it literally saved my life while I was caring for my late husband. There's something very powerful about being able to share with other folks who know exactly what you're going through.
I wish you well as you get things figured out for your dad and for yourself.

Yes, staffing is always an issue. For the most part workers are not well paid. This leads to little loyalty to show up among other issues.

What kind of sepsis did your Dad get and from what source?
How old is your Dad and what are his underlying conditions?

CM
Yes, probably all are dealing with a staffing issue but there are other elements to consider as well

Look on this website. If several choices come up, make sure you select the Medicare.gov one.

https://www.medicare.gov/care-compare/?providerType=NursingHome

You can enter the zip code and a list will appear for your zip code. Click on the name of the NH and it will give you info on staffing and other important elements of the NH.

Answer to your first question? Yes

Hi cmpockets I'm sorry for what your going through. This is a great support group for caregivers. You can learn a lot of really helpful information here and vent. Not all nursing homes are created equal and neither are social workers.