My 87 yr old Dad lives at home alone for over 3 yrs now. He refuses ltc, but does have home health care. I live 30 miles away. My sister and I have been dealing with an issue with him for a couple years. Any female that shows any affection towards him (just being neighborly or in friendship) he begins to romanticize about. He was doing this while Mom was still alive as well, and I do think he has been this way his entire life. He "has built" entire scenario's around several ladies so far, that he "believe's" are in love with him. Of course, it is entirely false. He loves to "tell you a secret" and its always about a woman. It has cost him several friendships of course. My sister and I have to shut him down when he begins to verbalize his vivid fantasizes. I am a retired nurse, so I have dealt with behavioral issues in elderly but I have never come across anything like this. He has developed a fantasy with his caregiver aid that assists his twice a week bathing as well. When I take him to eat at his favorite restaurant he is a big flirt with the waitress. His fantasists are real to him, but no one else. Has anyone else dealt with this sort of thing. I refuse to be his verbal sounding board to what I consider lies. He was really cruel to our Mom while she was still at home, telling her he was "in love" with an old gf off and on. Mom could never have a woman friend that dad didn't encroach on with his wild imagination.
Have you noticed any other 'off' behaviors with dad, such as:
Sign 1: Memory loss that affects day-to-day abilities
Are you, or the person you know, forgetting things often or struggling to retain new information?
It's normal to occasionally forget appointments, colleagues’ names or a friend’s phone number only to remember them a short while later. However, a person living with dementia may forget things more often or may have difficulty recalling information that has recently been learned.
Sign 2: Difficulty performing familiar tasks
Are you, or the person you know, forgetting how to do a typical routine or task, such as preparing a meal or getting dressed?
Busy people can be so distracted from time to time that they may forget to serve part of a meal, only to remember about it later. However, a person living with dementia may have trouble completing tasks that have been familiar to them all their lives, such as preparing a meal or playing a game.
Sign 3: Problems with language
Are you, or the person you know, forgetting words or substituting words that don’t fit into a conversation?
Anyone can have trouble finding the right word to express what they want to say. However, a person living with dementia may forget simple words or may substitute words such that what they are saying is difficult to understand.
Sign 4: Disorientation in time and space
Are you, or the person you know, having problems knowing what day of the week it is or getting lost in a familiar place?
It's common to forget the day of the week or one's destination – for a moment. But people living with dementia can become lost on their own street, not knowing how they got there or how to get home.
Sign 5: Impaired judgement
From time to time, people may make questionable decisions such as putting off seeing a doctor when they are not feeling well. However, a person living with dementia may experience changes in judgment or decision-making, such as not recognizing a medical problem that needs attention or wearing heavy clothing on a hot day.
Sign 6: Problems with abstract thinking
From time to time, people may have difficulty with tasks that require abstract thinking, such as using a calculator or balancing a chequebook. However, someone living with dementia may have significant difficulties with such tasks because of a loss of understanding what numbers are and how they are used.
Sign 7: Misplacing things
Anyone can temporarily misplace a wallet or keys. However, a person living with dementia may put things in inappropriate places. For example, an iron in the freezer, or a wristwatch in the sugar bowl.
Sign 8: Changes in mood and behaviour
Anyone can feel sad or moody from time to time. However, someone living with dementia can show varied mood swings – from calmness to tears to anger – for no apparent reason.
Sign 9: Changes in personality
Are you, or the person you know, behaving in a way that's out of character?
Personalities can change in subtle ways over time. However, a person living with dementia may experience more striking personality changes and can become confused, suspicious or withdrawn. Changes may also include lack of interest or fearfulness.
Sign 10: Loss of initiative
Are you, or the person you know, losing interest in friends, family and favourite activities?
It's normal to tire of housework, business activities or social obligations, but most people regain their initiative. However, a person living with dementia may become passive and disinterested, and require cues and prompting to become involved.
Best of luck getting dad tested.
Have you as an LPN ever dealt with men like this? If not, talk to an LPN or aide who have worked in NHs and ask how they handled a person like this. I know the man who tried something with my daughter got a good talking to. He never tried again.
She would get a little too graphic about her imaginary sex life, and I'd have to shut that down right away. That was pure dementia, as she never talked that way before her brain broke.
Even though your dad did talk that way before, I'd say he is nonetheless not right in the head and isn't competent to live on his own any longer.