She didnt tell him until a year later. This has distressed him greatly. He drove the same ttuck for 36 years until he bought this one brand new, the way he wanted it and paid cash for it in 2004. She said it needed $3500. worth of work and he couldnt drive it anyway. Dad always kept the family vehicles maintainced to the tee. If it needed that much work it must have been wrecked. Whether he can drive it or not is beside the point. It was his truck. She also closed out his safety deposit box and says she has the contents at her house. Dad has always been over-the-top cautious and would never have authorized that without instructing to have the contents put into another safety deposit box somewhere. There are other questionable things that have happened. He is being told now that he is almost out of money and will have to go into a Medicare approved nursing home. I would like for him to be close to me so that I can do whatever he needs for him. She and his step-son are trying to place him in a nursing home an hour from me in a town where he knows no one. Also his POA told me about a year ago that there is $200,000. unaccounted for and that she thinks my half-brother, his step-son (we had the same mother), has something to do with it. He was Dad's POA before her and Dad has the documents to change it from her back to him. He just hasnt done it yet. He is passive and fearful that if he says too much she might take advantage of him even more. She keeps saying that he has dementia but that is not part of his diagnosis. He is very sharp. How can I help my dad? I have very few resources right now. I dont even have a running vehicle at this time but I have to find a way to help my dad. If it was up to me he would live with me. My dad deserves to have the best quality of life possible without a lot of stress and conflict. I am willing to bear it for him if I can. I just want to protect him and do what I can to help him. I am his only child and next of kin. I dont have a husband or children but even if I did my position would be the same. My dad is the best man I have ever known and it is killing me to see this happening to him. He doesnt know how much it disturbs me, I dont want to upset him by letting him know how much it worries me. I dont know what to do. Is there an organization that I can contact that will help me and advocate for my father? He is 86 and in pretty good shape. He uses a walker and has some assistance getting dressed and getting a shower. No major health issues. He has been in assisted living for the last 2 years 3 and a half hours away. It has cost him $5000. a month but he is now almost out of money and may be going into a nursing home next month.

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call APS, pronto. They can do some investigation and try to interview your dad alone...he can indicate what he wants, even if there is some question of capacity.
If he is being exploited, they may be able to arrange temporary guardianship (usually a elder law attorney or professional fiduciary but varies widely in different states.)
No matter what has happened, when your dad tries to apply for Medicaid to cover residential care in a nursing home, 5 years of financial records are needed for some parts of the application.
If the money is gone and you at least have police and APS reports, that can help with Medicaid. If sister has title to new truck they can attach her title, etc.
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Also, your profile describing your father includes "living in assisted living with alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety...".    You'll need to be prepared to address these issues, especially the dementia issue when your father (and presumably you) visit or meet with law enforcement or other authorities.

The documents or other means by which you became aware of these offenses should be made available to the police as well.
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Isthisrealyreal Sep 2021
Oops! I didn't read the profile. I just read that dad is competent and went from there.

I was told by the police that dementia almost always means that the scum taking advantage of a vulnerable senior will get away with their actions. It turns into a "I got permission from the individual and they just don't remember."

I am glad that I believe in judgment for us all. People only think they are getting away with things. Won't they be surprised.
What you describe is inappropriate and misuse of authority granted under powers of attorney, and is actionable.    First, though, your father needs to see an attorney, preferably the one who prepared the POA and rescind (withdraw) it by executing a new one specifically indicating that the new one is the governing document.

The attorney can notify whoever "she" is that she no longer has any authority to act on his behalf, as well as that legal action will be pursued for the breach of fiduciary capacity she has exhibited.

This is not a DIY issue; get an attorney involved, and as ITRR suggests, also the police.   The state in which he lives may have an elder abuse hotline; if so, they should be notified of this situation as well.

If your father is fearful of this woman, he should raise with the attorney the issue of getting a TRO (temporary restraining order) preventing contact, or a PPO (personal protection order) preventing her from contacting him personally, by e-mail, phone, letter, or any other method.   You should see that this happens by helping him make the necessary legal connections.    If he's not able to go to the courthouse, ask the attorney who revises his estate plan and he/she may have some suggestions on how to accomplish getting a court issued restraining order.

I don't know if your state or area issues orders demanding return of funds improperly used, but this is something to raise with the attorney when your father sees him/her.

Be prepared to document all the claims you have made; authorities need this to act.
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You can't just put someone in a NH. There must be a need for skilled care.

I would contact the police, APS and an attorney (to represent dad in suing these scumbags) and report financial exploitation of a vulnerable senior. Your dad will have to speak up and tell them that he didn't give permission for truck/van situation, he never authorized removal of personal goods from safety deposit box and MOST IMPORTANTLY, he must tell them that he is fearful of reprisal for speaking up. If he doesn't, nothing will happen and he will be faced with becoming a Ward of the state when he has no money and no place to live.

These are serious allegations that you have made, you are a little late protecting him but, better late then never. Get the police involved today! They will be able to secure the other resources on the weekend.
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