My dad is at stage 6 but is still very healthy and mobile. Up at night wandering and gets very agitated. My mum is struggling, any advice? - AgingCare.com

My dad is at stage 6 but is still very healthy and mobile. Up at night wandering and gets very agitated. My mum is struggling, any advice?

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My mum is 80 and struggling to care for my dad whose up a few times at night and suffers with sundowning. Not sure how long she can keep going.

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Yes I have an appointment with there doctor to discuss the deterioration. They did give him a sleeping tablet but hasnt helped and is very sleepy the next day
We are going to take turns at night to give my mum a break. It seems to be progressing so not sure how much longer we can keep dad at home
Thanks for your comments
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Reply to Ladybird71
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Has anyone actually stayed awhile in the home to see how things really are? I ask, because, sometimes family members may be hesitant to speak out about how things really are. I'd just make sure that things are feasible and try to get an overnight aid. AND, discuss his nighttime troubles with his doctor. Maybe, he could benefit from a sleep aid. If mom is open, I'd try to discuss plans for the future. If she is struggling now......I'd try to get a sense if this is really working out. Maybe, more help would give her relief.
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Reply to Sunnygirl1
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Maybe family can take turns staying with them at night so she can sleep. Or maybe hire an overnight caregiver.
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Reply to Grammyteacher
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He is healthy and mobile during the day. He goes to a day care centre 4 times a week to give her a break. We live near her and help her out. It's the sundowning and getting up a few times a night that she's strughling with. This has started a few weeks ago. Waiting to get meds reviewed. Appreciate any help
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Reply to Ladybird71
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He is healthy and mobile during the day. He goes to a day care centre 4 times a week to give her a break. We live near her and help her out. It's the sundowning and getting up a few times a night that she's strughling with. This has started a few weeks ago. Waiting to get meds reviewed. Appreciate any help
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Reply to Ladybird71
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My aunt died of a massive heart attack weeks after my wandering, combative, demented uncle was placed in Memory Care. She was convinced she was the only one who could properly care for him.

He lived happily for almost 2 years after her death.

Take whatever lesson you care to from that information. It may not apply to your situation.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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I'm pretty amazed that an 80 year old person would be providing care for a person with significant dementia. I'd be concerned for them both. Is there some reason to just wait and see how long she can do it? Does she insist on doing it? Is there help for her? Who is the DPOA for your father? I'd likely explore other options. Lack of sleep and the stress and demands of caretaking a disabled person are very harsh on the body and mind. I'd try to relieve her as soon as possible.
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