My Dad lives alone in a seasonal area..which means he has 1 neighbor in the winter..maybe. He is forgetting when to take his meds, falls asleep and thinks it morning and takes his morning meds. He also fell the other day and 911 had to help me get him up, thankfully I was there. We don't think he is eating much unless we place it in front of him and he has stopped showering weekly. He was in rehab last year and did very well but wanted to come home and regretted it..asked to go back that evening. He then went and toured and assisted living, but is on a waiting list because of his insurance coverage. My problem is whenever I bring up assisted living, my sibling immediately tells our Dad..he "doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to". My Dad is social, presents well at the doctors..but then comes home and sleeps 20 hrs a day..it's crazy. I think he has some dementia, but is also bored. Even his primary told us he would do well in an assisted living..how do I convince my sibling to at least let him try it and to be positive about it!
My Dad has caregivers in and out but they are not reliable. We both have POA, but my sibling is 1st for our Dad, I had my Mom (thank goodness, she was so easy) not sure what my options are.
My Dad is social, presents well at the doctors..but then comes home and sleeps 20 hrs a day..it's crazy. I think he has some dementia, but is also bored. Even his primary told us he would do well in an assisted living.
primary told us he would do well in an assisted living.
YOU ANSWERED YOUR OWN ISSUE!!!
He has a social worker..however, she is just filling in because his original one left. We have called, met with her and she has not followed through with anything.
I know my Dad would love assisted living once he settled in..just wish my brother could see that. He seems to take it personally that my Dad does not want to live with him. I think my Dad would love to be with his peers! I feel like he is so lonely, even when the house is full and I understand that. Deafness does not help.
My brother's mother-in-law was not happy in a nursing home and my brother is now convinced they are all horrible.
I live an hour away, my brother and hour and a half. He comes down Thurs - Sunday and I check on him Mon- Thurs. My husband has also been ill and I am almost 70 myself..my brother is quite a bit younger.
Thank you for the good wishes and suggestions!
I know my Dad would love assisted living once he settled in..just wish my brother could see that. He seems to take it personally that my Dad does not want to live with him. I think my Dad would love to be with his peers! I feel like he is so lonely, even when the house is full and I understand that. Deafness does not help.
My brother's mother-in-law was not happy in a nursing home and my brother is now convinced they are all horrible.
I live an hour away, my brother and hour and a half. He comes down Thurs - Sunday and I check on him Mon- Thurs. My husband has also been ill and I am almost 70 myself..my brother is quite a bit younger.
Thank you for the good wishes and suggestions!
Why does your sister object to assisted living? Do you and your sister get along? Does your sister know that your dad’s doctor recommended assisted living?
I wish your family the best.
The problem is my brother's wife ( who should have no say at all in this, in my opinion) was unhappy with her mother's care in a nursing home. It is not the same home/assisted living or even in the same town. So now my brother and his wife keep telling him..he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do..which makes my Dad think he is supposed to want to be home. They have also offered to have him live with them..he flat out does not want to do that. I think my Dad isn't up for the fight with my brother.
It is a bad situation and I'm scared to death he is going to fall or take the wrong meds. I just don't want him suffering from a fall.
We have aides in 4X a week...the one that comes the most is not reliable. My Dad's social worker has left and his new one has just started and the one that is covering is no help at all. UGH
Call Social Services to do a well check on home and living enrivroment.
Sibling nearby? Does sibling want to come by with a parent who is nonresponsive?
It's not fun.... Also had a friend whose dad lived alone. After a few days of no answer...He checked on dad.... :(
At least move dad close to you or sibling, minutes drive away to get to him quickly....
Geez,, this is such a bad scenario. At least you and sibling share the time to see dad... You go one day, and the next day sibling goes...
SHARE THE CARE !!! TAG TEAM :)
Dad would love for the extra attention, and you take him out to lunch one day, and sibling takes him out to dinner the next...
And one day THE BOTH OF YOU SHOW UP TOGETHER AND TAKE HIM OUT FOR A PICNIC LUNCH....OR AN INDOOR ACTIVITY SINCE IT's COLD OUTSIDE...
LOOK UP ADULT DAYCARE IN THE AREA..
JUST MAKE IT WORK FOR DAD...
My sibling and I did... THIS LIFE IS SHORT... SHORT.... YOUR DAD IS ON A TIMER NOW... 97 YEARS OLD... THAT IS AMAZING !!!!
NOTE: ;MAKE SURE DAD IS SAFE, AND HAS EYES ON HIM 24/7... GET HIM INTO SENIOR ACTIVITIES, SENIOUR DAY CARE... MAKE HIS LAST FEW YEARS AMAZING... TAKE HIM TO DINNER, LUNCH.... WHAT MAKES HIM HAPPY?
YOU AND SIBLING COME OVER WITH A MOVIE, OLD FAMILY MOVIE, DVD OR FAMILY PHOTOS, FAMILY WEDDINGS. PARTIES, ETC... MEMORIES.....
TAKE TURNS SLEEPING OVER IF YOU CANNOT AFFORD CARETAKERS 24/7... I GET IT... EVERYONE HERE ON THIS FORUM GETS IT...
Embrace the situation. This is your time to make more memories,... family ...a family campout in dad's living room... Bring the sleeping bags, the pillows, the music,.... Make the best of what you got...
Yes It's hard.. 5 LO's I know... and it's ok to be overwelmed....We are human... we are allowed to get that way...
This Friday, call sibling and get the sleeping bags air mattreses, kids, whoever , and DVD's photos, and make a weekend... make it fun...
Goodluck, and GN