I apologize for the length! I am his only child and next closest relatives are elderly and have their own issues.
Pre-Covid he was living in an independent living facility, taking the van to dr. and PT appointments and preparing for 2 possibly outpatient procedures to address some health issues. When Covid hit, he could no longer go to PT and, based on the grocery lists he sent me, was no longer being very compliant with his diabetic and kidney diet. I refused to buy several things despite him not being happy with me.
When we saw the doctor most recently when offices opened again for regular appointments, he wasn’t a candidate for any elective surgeries anymore. (General anesthesia is too risky for him now and maybe was before but no one has said that it was.)
He has a single kidney for the past 50 years with no need for dialysis, is diabetic but mostly controlled it with diet, and had the usual cardiac issues but never a heart attack or pacemaker.
Then little things started to happen - swelling, needing oxygen, stomach issues. He ended up having emergency surgery for a hernia, which is tolerated remarkably well despite complications in surgery.
Due to trying to get his digestive system working again while keeping the line kidney in the right place, he was in the hospital for 2 weeks. In that time, a catheter remained in place as did a drain. He seemed off and on not as clear thinking. At one point when he was about to be discharged to rehab to get his mobility back safely, the catheter failed and the ONLY bad nurse we had wouldn’t hear me out about it not working. After his shift, they got that fixed but then has to deal with issues from that.
He was discharged to short term skilled nursing but retained the catheter and drain for now.
I am waiting for someone to give me guidance. I can’t go stay with him most of the day now as skilled nursing isn’t allowing visitors due to an increase in Covid again. I talk to him and nurses at least daily. They can tell me the concrete daily things but I’m no longer seeing lab results or doctors. Even when I was, I feel like no one was giving me solid information that helped me figure out the “what next?”
I feel like his kidneys may be shutting down but don’t want to “give up” on him. I’m trying to prepare realistically and financially for his future but be positive with him. I think he’s being treated well, but he is becoming more demanding and less compliant. He’s not eating as much now, sounds out of breath and less able (or willing, not sure which) to help himself with things he can do.
Tuesday will be a week in rehab. I am not sure he has made any progress. I’m not sure whether to look into SSI or veterans benefits and for what type of situation. I feel totally in the dark and unprepared.
Any insight is welcome.