My dad (86) has dementia. He is being sexually exploited by a woman who is 64 and goes to the senior center he goes to. What do I do?

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He has been banned from the transit bus because they have a video of her touching my dad on 2 separate occasions and he is suspended from the senior center for inappropriate sexual behavior with her. He doesn't remember any of this. He is so sad. He feels everyone is against him and this woman is trying to isolate him from his family. Dad's dementia is rapidly getting worse because of the turmoil with this woman but we cannot get her to stay away. When she isn't there he says he doesn't know her and doesn't want her around but she is telling everyone they are getting married. My dad's mind is a mess. He is a pillar of the community and in this county. What do I do?

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And Dighby out-of-character behaviours on the part of people living with dementia and protecting them from same very much is the business of those who care for them. Obviously. Don't be daft.
I agree with the others. Why isn't this woman the one who is suspended or banned?

The turmoil with this woman may be making him anxious or angry. Dementia advances at its own rate, and I doubt this turmoil is having an impact on this. Symptoms may be intensified under this stress.

Is there another senior center he could attend? Have you considered an Adult Day Health Program (adult daycare)? You can customize the days and hours he attends. They are used to coping with inappropriate behavior, and if this woman is not there, Dad's behavior might not get inappropriate. They pick up and return participants, provide a hot lunch, and breakfast items for the early arrivals. There are activities geared to people with some impairments. It might be worth exploring.

Do what you can to keep him away from that woman.
If the video shows Her touching HIm ,, why is he banned? And if the senior center shows the same,, again why is He banned? Why is she not banned? If he can't remember her when she is not around,, keep her away! She will get tired of the wedding planning if she has no groom! Keep him busy and keep her away.. Good luck !
Is the 64 year old Jezebel also suffering from dementia?
Something's not adding up. He can't remember her, but he can ride the bus OK? If his mind is really a mess, you need to protect him and get him into Memory Care.
idahogirl, your comment was harsh. This is a site to talk about situations, frustrations, etc. It is not to reprimand. Please be kind.
A senior center is not a care center/nursing home. Is he with you in your care or in a care center full time? Your not making sense. If he needs care in a nursing home, put him in one where she isn't. She can't get in if you tell the RNs about her. Don't tell her where he is. This is a no brainer. Take care of your dad!!! whats wrong with you?? Keep your dad safe, he is terminal and will get worse and worse. Get your act together!
Digbey - what the heck? That's your answer- let them sleep together? What a creep
Dighby, "I say if the guy can get some action at 86 he should get it while he can. " This is so obviously a clue to why you're here that it's laughable. Your purpose for inciting response is quite transparent. You're not fooling anyone except yourself.
Trying to see Dighby's point of view - that if the old boy is having fun why meddle? - it seems to me akin to what *most* men over a certain age that I've ever talked to about the subject feel about the sexual exploitation of adolescent boys by older women - teachers, cougars, "MILFs", and the like. The almost universal response has been along the lines of 'God I wish that had happened to me.'

But surely we've progressed past that? Surely we recognise that no matter how enthusiastic a young lad might be about his crush, it is wrong wrong wrong for an adult to exploit it. And surely, with this elderly gentleman, we can switch the genders in our imaginations and see how we'd feel about it if our grannies were being pestered by 64 year old toy boys, and if those in charge had dealt with it as they have.

It's purely a Protection of Vulnerable Adults question. It's not about being blue meanies with one eye on the estate.

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