His Dr. Has also prescribed a sleeping pill which I am hesitant to use. A whole one just makes him "loopy" and he gets out of bed a is unstable. He still doesn't sleep. I've also tried half of one. He only sleeps from 45 minutes to maybe 4hours a night but waking up often. Up & down. Only light sleep. No deep sleep or REM. I put one of those watches on that tell you how much and how well he sleeps. It also shows how many steps he takes during the night. He is 88. Any other suggestions.
Can you tell me if he sleeps a lot during the day, or is it that he doesn't require much sleep?
Can he have a radio at bedside he might listen to when awake? This helps some to focus on the voices on radio and be able to sleep?
I myself would try the medications suggested by the MD. BUT, I understand the worry that it would/could make dad wobbly on his feet, prone to fall. The sad truth is that whatever dire consequences a fall might have, this not sleeping and being sleep deprived isn't good for either of you either.
In all truth, a tendency toward sleeplessness was the beginning of the end for my 94 year old Mom. She was sleep deprived, started not to feel well overall. DID take a medication, DID fall backward in the bathroom, and that fall was for her the beginning of the end with hospitalizations, catheters, pneumonia, UTI, and so on. She was never again well. So I truly understand the hesitancy with giving meds.
Might the doc try at least a low dose anti -depressant. They sometimes stop all KIND of things like bad sleep patterns, muttering, chronic habitual mouth movements/chewing, and so on. I think I might try that before the sleep medication.
Wish I had a clue what to advise. Sounds overall miserable! For you both.
You say...
"Dad, we are going to the store"
"Dad, we are going for a walk."
Then you get him into the car and go.
Now, if it is not safe for you to get him in the car and take him out that is a different matter.
This is worth discussing with his doctor.
On the flip side.
If he is healthy and no UTI, no sleep disorder like apnea....
If his doctor is not overly concerned...
If he is not at risk for wandering....
If he is not a fall risk at home...
If he does not keep you up at night by making noises...
Don't worry about the amount of sleep he gets.
As you have indicated any medication that will result in him sleeping more WILL have side effects and those are mostly resulting in him being unsteady, a fall risk and or a bit "loopy" or what I call "brain fog" I would forego sleep medications.
A "normal" part of decline is that he will sleep more. Those are the times when you will wish he were awake more.
- folding a large basket of kitchen towels
- sorting and pairing nuts and bolts
- sorting and pairing a large basket of colorful socks, poker chips, deck of cards, etc
- have him read aloud to you
- chop, peel veggies
- go for a walk
- play board games or cards with his rules (aka no rules)
- buy a table-top "pedaler" for his arms and legs (my 100-yr old Aunt did 20 min a day while watching tv)
etc. Your LO needs to burn mental and physical energy in order to sleep more soundly. But eventually, nothing will help, which is what happened with my Aunt. She shimmied past her bed barriers one night, fell and broke her hip. She passed shortly after that. That's just how dementia goes.
Edit - I just saw your response to Barb, ambien has been known to be problematic for seniors for decades, I'd ask for that referral or seek out a more experienced doctor on your own
If he is napping while watching TV that may explain why he does not sleep well at night.
Are there Adult Day Programs near you? If he were active during the day he may sleep better. (structured Day Program is better if he can not be left by himself)
Is there a Senior Center that has activities that he could participate in? (good option if he can be left at the Senior Center.)
If neither of these options works for you can you get him out and take him for a walk daily? Either around the neighborhood or a local park. If weather conditions are not favorable many Park Districts have walking tracks. (I used Sam's or Costco walking my Husband around. Smooth floors, wide aisles, large carts he could hold)
Keeping him busy in the house can help as well. Sweeping, mopping the floor, folding laundry.
I get him out of bed same time each day so he doesn't just lay in bed. He will play games on the computer once in a while only during the day. He refuses to do any type of exercises, even walking in the house except to use bathroom or to the dining room to eat. He just sits in his chair re-reading the paper or stares at his lottery tickets for hours. He does get up and go back and forth to the bathroom which is inhis room. I think he goes so much just because he's bored but will not do anything I suggest, It's like he's lost his will to do anything since my mom died 2 years ago. And since he can no longer drive.
He does not nap during the day.
Like you, I have tried all the over-the-counter pills and we have done 5mg and 10mg of Ambien and he is still not sleeping in addition to 45mg of Mirtazapine.
The stress of him not sleeping has made me not able to sleep at night.