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Keep in mind that memory goes backwards. My mom paid attention to photos of family back to the 70 and 80s. She had no opinion of photos of recent grand kids. Her favorite books were her high school yearbooks
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Reply to MACinCT
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Dear MonicaG54,
a memory book sounds like a great idea (kind of like the video idea from the movie 50 first dates). When my father was in the hospital after having brain surgery, he came out of the anesthesia in what his surgeon thought was severe delirium. If he woke up in his room alone he would get confused and upset not knowing where he was, why he was there etc. so the doctors put a white board up in his room across from his bed. They (and us) would write on it the date, where he was and why he was there. We also added large photos of his family and good friends near the board with our names written next to them. This seemed to help calm him down and help orient him. Sometimes it didn’t work because when severely confused people tend not to read or absorb the information available around them, but more often then not it helped him. Even if he didn’t quite get who we were after the white board and photos were posted he would be calmer in the mornings. I am sure it was because when he opened his eyes his first sight was photos of his family.
I think a memory book would be a great idea. You would just need someone to cue him to look through it or show it to him.
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My parents live with me. Sometimes he knows me and sometimes he doesn't. It doesn't matter to me what he calls me at least I have him. But when he is completely lucid he comes out with tears in his eyes and apologizes. I told him yesterday about the book idea and he wants it. I do pictures with him sometimes anyway. But since he's so upset I thought it might give him some relief.
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My Dad had this problem too. He suffered from heart desease. A clogged Carotid may have been the problem. When sleeping, enough oxygen does not get to the brain. So they are in a fog for a little while. Took Dad about a half hour or so to come out of it.
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MonicaG54 Feb 18, 2025
That may play some role but he has good days and bad days. He wants so badly to remember so I thought maybe a book might help when he is having a hard time. It will probably be one of those look at me like I'm crazy when he looks at it but then again it might give him relief if not memories since he doesn't know who he's with.
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I have been scanning old slides from my parents' that go back nearly 70 years. I bring a few with me every day I go to the NH. Old photos are the only things that my father responds to. A few days ago I showed him his college graduation picture from 1957. I kiddingly asking him who the other grad was in the picture, never expecting an answer. Without missing a beat he said that's Bernie. I was amazed. He can't remember anything about yesterday but when asked about someone from 70 years ago, he's on it. Amazing.

Just show your father some old pictures you have on your phone, no need to go crazy making books and stuff. Just try to connect with him.

The pictures have been nice because we can spend time reminiscing. Otherwise there is absolutely nothing to talk about these days. He's not interested in hearing about grandkids or the future. He dwells in the past.
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Daughterof1930 Feb 18, 2025
A great effort and kindness on your part. You will treasure this time as your dad does today
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Or a matching game?
https://www.shutterfly.com/t/memory-games/
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Reply to MOM4MOM
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We made flashcards and did a matching game using family photos for my child in preschool. Could you make something like that for your father?
Or, what about ordering a photo blanket or mug he could use?
https://www.shutterfly.com/personalized-gifts/
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Reply to MOM4MOM
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You can make him a memory book, and it's a lovely thought. He may enjoy it a whole lot. I don't think it will cause him to remember. He will make a connection in the moment; it will likely recede in the next moment, but it does no harm. I think the more you can INCLUDE him in the making, with the glue, the book, the pictures, and talk about OLD memories, the more useful this MAY be.

You need to know this is the progression of the disease. And really, no matter how often someone is told or reminded or visited, it stays very temporarily if at ALL active in the brain.
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Does he remember you after he's been awake for a while? If so, I wouldn't worry about. But if he doesn't remember you at all throughout the entire day, then you can certainly try a "memory book" though when one has a broken brain there are no guarantees that it will help.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Is he at home or in a facility?
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