My parents have been living with us since September 2018. My parents and brother are a morass of dysfunction. My depressed alcoholic father (89) has been complaining about me to 3 different cousins since he reluctantly moved here. He says it was the biggest mistake of his life.
The 3 cousins are all 10+ years older than me and I haven't seen nor spoken to them in 25ish years.
I've heard my father speak (he is deaf) to them and have heard his complaints. I had texted one cousin telling her to take what he tells her with a grain of salt and that he is an abusive alcoholic.
They recently wanted to come get my parents and take them away to a beach house 6 hours away. This is all by text. This was a gathering of extended family/cousins. Of course I wasn't invited because it was obviously an opportunity to assess him. I told them this is not possible, my father is very frail, my mum has dementia. I stopped responding to their texts afterwards.
Yesterday APS knocks on the door.
She was here for about 2 hours. Says she has to conduct a full investigation. She was very nice, she could see there was no abuse going on. I told her you are welcome to take guardianship of them if you want.