My client who refuses to acknowledge he has dementia. Any suggestions? - AgingCare.com

My client who refuses to acknowledge he has dementia. Any suggestions?

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He was diagnosed with dementia a few months back and refuses to acknowledge his diagnosis. Blaming past drugs or uneducated Drs. He acts like a perfect gentleman with his wife and I when I am around. The moment I leave, he does a complete 360. He recently told a friend to call his lawyer because he is being held hostage. He made up horrific lies. When I'm with him he constantly tells me how grateful he is and he's so happy I saved his life. He is putting his wife who also suffers from moderate dementia through unnecessary stress which causes her deep depressions which lasts for days. I have explained that he could get the attention of entities that could remove him from the home no matter what action the family or I take. I'm extremely worried for my female client. I'm not sure what to do at this point. Any help or suggestions is greatly appreciated.

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CC, you are the main caregiver? You have been caregiving for 15 years. Have you cared for someone with dementia before?

Touring a nursing home to frighten him into behaving? Then him denying his behavior because he doesn't remember? Even if the tour of the nursing home happens, he won't remember it. It won't work as an enticement to get him to behave. I think they need more care than can be provided at home now.

Ahhh, these people you are caring for are your grandparents?

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/are-there-legal-rights-to-telephone-access-441592.htm
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Reply to gladimhere
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Why would you think that you can reason with a person with dementia?

If he is causing harm to his wife, you have an obligation to report that to wife's family, doctor and APS.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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Cakescare Aug 5, 2018
That's a very good question. His physical health has improved fivefold, and because his capacity for remembering numbers and experiences from years ago, he has convinced himself that he has improved and no longer has dementia. I have explained that dementia is so much more. He thinks because all of the behaviors that led him to the evaluation was due to the hospital drugging him. He was in the hospital for 6 days due to his poor choices with meals,meds,and lack of exercise, which caused a 50 lbs edema issue. I started noticing a 72 hour pattern and kept notes. The neurologist gave him numerous test and gave him the diagnosis. My previous patients were years into their diagnosis when I cam into the picture. He isnt a threat physically, emotionally or verbally. He is the only thing she knows now. She wont eat unless he is hungry. She wont sleep unless he is there. So if he gets removed from the home, her health with be affected dramatically. That's the threat I speak of. She is the purest soul, and I would have him removed myself if he was to hurt her in any way. He is causing risk where there shouldn't be risk.
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I'm lead caretaker. I'm the only one that has been there since the beginning. I'm the only one that can call him on his actions. The other caretakers are manipulated so easily it's scary. There has been 2 previous caretakers that I wouldn't have watch a dead goldfish. Because I let them go after to many warnings, I'm doing to many hours. I cant relax at home because I worry about what's going on at work. I now have to fire a friend of mine because she broke one of the biggest rules and refuses to answer for it. So that is another overnight shift I dont have coverage for. It's been a $#it show and I'm the damn ring leader. I have been a CG for over 15 years and I've never experienced anything like this. he is going to be removed from the house by his lies and manipulation. I told the daughter that I want to take him for a tour of a horrible NH we have in our town. But I already know that he will deny his actions are a risk and. He will continue to think he is untouchable.
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Reply to Cakescare
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Where is the family. If he is a threat to his wife he needs to be removed from the house or her. Medication may help.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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What sort of client? No one will be able to convince him he has dementia. You cannot reason with dementia. The attempts to convince him WILL cause agitation.
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Reply to gladimhere
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Dementia or not there are a lot of men (and women) who can be perfectly charming until they are in the privacy of their own homes, or it could be sundowning. As a hired caregiver I think that all you can do is document and make certain the people who hired you are aware. If you fear he could actually harm himself or his wife and the family is in denial you need to report that to APS.
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You said your client. What is your position?
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