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Mom's savings are not going to last her care needs. She has a house that is being rented out and the rent currently goes into her account to help pay for her care. She is in assisted living, but may need memory care soon. I'm wondering about either selling her house to pay for memory care or moving her back into it with 24/7 home care, which she had before going to assisted living. I was her main care giver. That was difficult for me to manage because I was working full-time at my job. Now I work part-time and can maybe manage it better.

I would not move your mother back into an old house that may require lots of renovations to make it feasible for her to "age in place" there. Upkeep alone is a huge headache, and you will be the one who is going to have to hire the people who will maintain it. And when something goes wrong - boiler breaks, roof leaks, etc etc - she will have to pay for it. An assisted living/memory care situation takes all of those headaches away.

Call the renters and ask them if they are interested in purchasing the house. If they don't want to purchase it, let them know that you are considering selling the house. Ask a realtor who knows the neighborhood where your mom's house is to check out the house. Normally, it would be late to put it on the market now but the pandemic has changed things, and lots of families are looking to move out of cities. A good realtor will give you good advice.
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Geaton777 Aug 25, 2020
Yes, depending on where the OP lives her mom's home could fly off the shelf. Here in Mpls suburbs almost every reasonable home listing results in a bidding war. People are abandoning the city due to the defunding of the police, the resulting crime, recent riots, and the loss of 10K jobs from Mpls proper. This may be the best time for her to sell without having to update the house at all. Just a thought...the real estate market may not be the same where the OP lives.
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Another consideration is making sure her next move (if not to your home) needs to be to a facility that not only accepts Medicaid (even if she doesn't yet need it) but that has a continuum of care to the next levels so she doesn't have to be moved again. It should have AL, LTC, MC and hospice. If you are currently working part time, this is still not going to be enough to care for her as she declines. You need to be your own best advocate, as caregiving is extremely strenuous on many levels. Please read some of the posts on this forum under Burnout. I wish you much wisdom as you come to a decision.
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ArtistDaughter Aug 25, 2020
I know I could not care for her all on my own and did not before. We had home care in her house for 4 - 6 hours every day and either my son or I lived there with her to be available in the evenings. I think if I sell her house she'll have enough funds for her life time. She's 91. She gets a tiny bit more monthly from SS and a pension that would qualify her for Medicaid, but we aren't there yet. Thank you. I will get some advice on the finances. Talking to the memory care places shocked me that her care will cost twice what it is in assisted living.
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I'm very sorry for your brother's illness. Am I correct in interpreting your post that he signed over his PoA for your mom to you? I don't know if this is legally possible, unless you were designated as some sort of alternate on the paperwork. Thanks for clarifying.
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ArtistDaughter Aug 25, 2020
Yes, I was already secondary on the POA.
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Are you named on the POA documents as successor? I would first have it reviewed by a lawyer to make sure you have proper legal authority to act on Mum’s behalf.

If Mum’s level of care is increasing, please think long and hard about having her move back in with you. One person cannot provide 24/7 care.

If you sell Mum’s house how many more months of care could you pay for? Would she be eligible for Medicaid when her funds run out?

I have an ongoing Conversation with my mother when she claims she does not have enough money. I remind her that if she sold her home she would have enough cash to more than meet her needs to age 100, she is 86. But we are in Canada and a Subsidized nursing home would cost 70% of her income. A full cost one about $5000 per month.
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Will the care home or memory care accept Medicaid in your state?

Before moving your mother in with you, please go back and re-read your posts from when she DID live with you.
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ArtistDaughter Aug 25, 2020
Yep. And just mentioning it to my sons made them wonder if I need to be committed to even think about that option.
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The best use of her funds would be to spend some consulting with an elder law attny and a financial planner with a good knowledge of medicaid and related issues, although it may seem expensive it will likely save both heartache and $$ in the long run.
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ArtistDaughter Aug 25, 2020
I will do that. Thanks.
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