My mom moved in with me after my dad died, it was a month ago. Since then she’s fallen a couple of times with injuries amongst other things she has trouble walking and standing and getting to the bathroom on time. I tried, I just cannot care for her, it’s very overwhelming, she definitely needs 24/7 care. I don’t know how my dad did it. I said to my brother we are putting her in AL. He said “no you're not” So now she’s living over there with him and his girlfriend. The gf is the primary caregiver and from what I understand she’s not happy. My brother is not speaking to me now that mom is there. He’s so angry, nobody asked him, he decided to care for her. His exact words were “I’ll be the assisted living” He won’t put her in AL because of the inheritance, I know that’s the reason. He’s not telling me what his plans are or how mom is. I find out by talking to my mom what’s going on. He’s always second guessed everything I suggest for mom, her house, or her finances, he says he will do it, but never follows through the best way and if he does anything it’s always a big fight. We both have POA. I just don’t know what to do, how do I handle him? I’m going crazy from the stress.

"The gf is the primary caregiver and from what I understand she’s not happy."

Seems the brother is having it easy since he is not doing the actual care. GF should put her foot down now. Your Mom your responsibility.

Oh, the no talking to you, be glad at this point. You really don't need the Drama. You know Mom is safe and being cared for.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JoAnn29

I haven’t gone over there since we aren’t speaking. But I talk to my mom on the phone. She said she understands. I miss my mom I’d love to spend the day with her at my house but I can’t do that. My brother might have other plans in mind with that.
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Reply to MomswithUs

Your brother is angry because this is harder than he thought and because you said you could no longer do it. So his inheritance plans have been blown out of the water. Take this time as a break. Let him deal with the consequences of his actions. Have you visited mom since she moved there?
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Reply to lkdrymom

Thank you for the kind words, that means a lot💕
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Reply to MomswithUs

Take a time out. 🧸️

Sorry for the loss of your Dad, only a month ago. 🌹

Ida is the second deadliest storm to hit NJ, that is another big stress. ⛈

You have said in another post:
"Mom doesn’t want to go to assisted living I think she’s telling him that. Every time I speak to him he talks about the money from her house how it will be gone. I’m not speaking to him. It’s a mess I’m so stressed out I’m getting sick over this."

Not speaking to each other is also known as a "respite".

You needed a break. You are in New Jersey? Is Mom with brother, also in New Jersey?

In the aftermath of Ida, people are scrambling to survive. 🐶🐶🐶
Stay at home, take care of your dogs and family. Take a break now, while you can have one.

Take some deep breaths, sit down.

We can be here for you......
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Sendhelp

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