My brother-in-law in the last 3 1/2 months has been kicked out of VA foster home, sent back to hospital, sent to nursing home and back to VA. Can we be forced to take him back home? - AgingCare.com

My brother-in-law in the last 3 1/2 months has been kicked out of VA foster home, sent back to hospital, sent to nursing home and back to VA. Can we be forced to take him back home?

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kicked out of a VA foster home after only 6 weeks sent back to the hosp, then sent to a nursing home and after 3 days they booted him out. Back to the VA hosp. Spent a month there while SS services were trying to find a place for him. Found it last Thurs. Got a call 3 days later they had to send him back to the VA. The reason for all this mess is he gets angry and has hit 2 people so far. My BIL seems to be fine all day and wins everyone over then at night this Hyde comes out. Yes it is dementia, but we feel that that is all the medical staff look at even though they know his history of bi-polar, PTSD, OCD and dyslexia. The newest AFC home that he was in said they will take him back IF he gets his meds improved. Depakote and just recently a mere 25mg of ceraquil. So, my question is..... can we be forced to take him back home considering he has these rage issues? A note to this is, he resents and has threatened his brother (my hub) who is older and has been taking care of him since 2014. The thought of his being sent back here is upsetting the heck out of me.

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I blame the VA home. There r doctors who can prescribe meds to calm him down. You don't need a violent person in your home. In NJ people like your BIL go to a psychiatric facility to help with meds to calm them. Does he use the VAfor his medical. I was just told that if the VA hospital can't help him they will refer a facility that can and the VA will pay for it.
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I thank you all and so appreciate your answers . Think I posted that question about 4 days ago , so far we are hearing nothing and my bil is still at the VA. As far as we can tell they are searching for a facility that has a lockdown and staffed to handle his particular problem. Also have learned that they will not alter meds so, the AFH that might have taken him back is also out of the picture ........so we wait, but from your posts my hub and I know to "stand Firm,", if they even remotely suggest he comes back here. I honestly don't think that would happen but you just never KNOW. :(
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My mom was kicked out of memory care because of behaviors. She was on hospice at the time. Hospice recommended a smaller, homier care home that worked out great for her. And everyone in that home had been kicked out of previous facilities.

He first needs geriatric psych hospital evaluation to get meds to stabalize him.
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One of the small homes that only take a few patients might be better for him. I can understand your concern. I’m sure this is hard for your husband to see his brother in such a condition and to have to say no to him. He needs a place that will support him keeping up with ongoing therapy not just for meds but more often to help him manage his behavior. Let us know how it goes.
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I agree with rovana - refuse to sign anything, refuse to take him home for discharge, and emphasize that if he is released it is an unsafe discharge. If he is let out, don't let him in your house. There are social workers at the hospital who as you have seen, can work wonders finding placements for people. The trick is to get his meds adjusted which will mean putting him in a mental hospital where they are authorized to try medications to control his behavior. A violent angry man on the streets sounds very scary!
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I do not think you can be forced to have him in your home - but you will have to be firm that it would be an unsafe discharge, that you cannot take care of him and emphasize that he is violent. Keep on saying it and don't give in - hospital must find a safe placement for him - with his issues it sounds like a psych hospital.
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