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He has been paying her bills for 5 years from dad and mom's account when dad died. There was appx $60,0000 according to dad in the account, but he never let anyone verify that amount. Now he claims all the money is gone, but will not let anyone audit her account. In addition, he is keeping all her SS money and annunity since Aug 2017 and hasn't paid a dime to the nursing home, but has kept this money. The GA APS has completed a report about his abuse and closed the case since my brother and I have been paying the nursing home. We can't do anything since we don't have POA, and are considering stop paying cause we can't pay for much longer. Will Medicare take over her nursing home? She does have advance stage dementia.

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cougar310, I agree with Barb above. Self-paying a nursing home can be very expensive, and can take a huge bite out of anyone's saving account. Chances are that is where most of the money went.

As for your Dad saying how much was in the account, unless one had a bank Statement showing said amount, one would need to take the number with a grain of salt. I remember one time my Dad said he had $8M in stocks. Guess he was showing his inner Warren Buffet, and nope, Dad didn't have that much in stocks. It's interesting how an elder's brain can play tricks.

By the way, what was on the APS report? Was your brother arrested for felony theft? If not, apparently no theft was found. Did your brother tell you he was keeping Mom's social security and annuity? Are you sure that the nursing home isn't pull the amount that they need directly from Mom's bank account. Thus you are paying the remainder of the cost?

Nursing homes can be expensive. My Dad was paying $12k per month for my Mom's care.

Sign your Mom up for Medicaid [Medicare is totally different], who in turn will pay for room, board, and care. I am really surprised that a Social Worker at the nursing home didn't talk to you about Medicaid, so you wouldn't need to pay out of your own pocket.

Let us know what happens.
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$550 a month for assisted living? That seems low. Very low. Here the bottom end, and I mean the very bottom, is about $2000/month.

Can you even rent a apt for $550/month? Assisted living won't be cheaper than that.
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So, mom has been private pay at a NH for 5 years? At 8k per month? That's 600k right there.

Have you applied for Medicaid for her?
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You r going to have to sue him for misuse of Moms money with you and brother being reimbursed for what you have paid. Her money is not his to spend on himself. He is abusing his POA.
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I want nothing to do with a POA.
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For 4 years she had been in assisted living and only paying about 550 month. for the past year or so she has been in memory care facility that cost $2930/mo. The APS report was sent to a DA,s office and we have been waiting since Dec if they plan to do something. The Nursing home manager claims he doesn't get any money from mom,s ss or annunity, so we assume our brother is keeping all her money. He is a hermit and doesn't talk to anyone especially us, sad. APS was able to talk to him one time . I guess Ga is cheaper for nursing care than other states.
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Mom and dad lived in a assisted living that was based on their income, so it varied year to year. when dad died it went down to this amount based on mom,s income. I was never close to my parents, so my POA brother kept financial information to himself and this information I know is just what I have learned hear and there. I have wondered how they qualified for low income housing, yet still had several hundred thousand dollars available for my brother to pilfer thru over the years. I do know they had quite a few e-bonds in safety deposit boxes. 5 or so years ago I did see one of dad,s credit card statements and added up appx $3000 of charges made by my brother for his own personal use. Things like $270 for seafood delivered, $60 for a pay for view event, $210 for a new car stereo, among other things. BTY my POA brother hasn't worked in 15 years and has no source of income, so don't expect to sue him for anything, since he has basically nothing but a few acres of land in no where land, kind of like the unabomber story.
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