I only want to visit her one more time at least to say good bye and I love you mom. He will not allow it due to old grudges... do I have any way to get a visitation with my mom?
Yes - just speak to the facility and arrange it. Unless you have a negative effect on your mother which he can show then he cannot decide who she sees. It sounds like you and your brother have some things to sort out between you, this is a ridiculous situation if it is a matter of old grudges - be adults and think of your mother not yourselves - both of you work together to find a way for a sensible way forward that doesn't penalise your mother.
Apart from your brother, does she have visitors? Is it only you who is excluded, or is your brother keeping everyone away?
The reason I ask is that if nobody is able to visit her it begins to look like isolation, and APS might give you a sympathetic ear.
But you see: one person's "old grudge" might be another person's "constitutes a risk to mother's wellbeing." If your visiting would lead to conflict or disputes that could be distressing for your mother then your wanting to see her isn't a good enough reason.
It all boils down to deciding what is in mother's best interests, and at the moment your brother does get to decide that. If the difficulty is *only* between you and him, though, and you can visit your mother without his being present or involved, and your mother is in a fit state physically and mentally to cope with your visit, then you can ask for support in being allowed to visit her.
How sure are you about your brother's reasoning? I assume he hasn't said "you're not allowed to visit her because you really pissed me off ten years ago." So what reasons does he give? If he says she's too ill or too weak or would get upset, it might be better to accept what he says and see if you can think of something else to do for her.
Your brother's POA does not give him the right to ban you unless you are a threat to Mom. If Mom is competent, he really has no rights unless POA is immediate. He is to carry out the wishes of the principle. Not use the POA as a punishment because of his feelings.
Your brother does not have a POA "over" Mom. He was assigned by Mom. If she is competent, she can revolk that assignment.
As Greaton777 said you should be able to visit your mom with the stated exceptions Greaton777 mentioned. So if you haven't been put on a list keeping you from visiting, you should go and visit mom.
Shortly before my father died my brother decided to move back to the area. He showed up at AL where mom was still living - it was late and he decided to spend the night but for some reason ended up sleeping on the floor of the all purpose room and caused a kerfuffle the next morning when someone on the staff happened upon him.
Now my brother at the best of times has mental health issues, however at this time he was even worse to the point he could have been helped by being an inpatient. Anyway, mom and I both told the staff he was not allowed in the facility after the front doors were locked. I also requested that if he came to visit that they check in and make sure everything was going fine. - As far as I know he's never been a threat anyone - just very irresponsible and mentally ill but wanted to be sure everything was still ok.
If your mom is in AL and not MC I don't know why you can't just show up there to visit her? Is there a restraining order? If not, don't tell him you're going and don't tell her either (so she doesn't tell him). Just show up. If your mother does not have a diagnosis of dementia in her medical records then he doesn't call her shots, she does. She can refuse to see you, and that's her choice. Good luck.
Apart from your brother, does she have visitors? Is it only you who is excluded, or is your brother keeping everyone away?
The reason I ask is that if nobody is able to visit her it begins to look like isolation, and APS might give you a sympathetic ear.
But you see: one person's "old grudge" might be another person's "constitutes a risk to mother's wellbeing." If your visiting would lead to conflict or disputes that could be distressing for your mother then your wanting to see her isn't a good enough reason.
It all boils down to deciding what is in mother's best interests, and at the moment your brother does get to decide that. If the difficulty is *only* between you and him, though, and you can visit your mother without his being present or involved, and your mother is in a fit state physically and mentally to cope with your visit, then you can ask for support in being allowed to visit her.
How sure are you about your brother's reasoning? I assume he hasn't said "you're not allowed to visit her because you really pissed me off ten years ago." So what reasons does he give? If he says she's too ill or too weak or would get upset, it might be better to accept what he says and see if you can think of something else to do for her.
Your brother does not have a POA "over" Mom. He was assigned by Mom. If she is competent, she can revolk that assignment.
Shortly before my father died my brother decided to move back to the area. He showed up at AL where mom was still living - it was late and he decided to spend the night but for some reason ended up sleeping on the floor of the all purpose room and caused a kerfuffle the next morning when someone on the staff happened upon him.
Now my brother at the best of times has mental health issues, however at this time he was even worse to the point he could have been helped by being an inpatient. Anyway, mom and I both told the staff he was not allowed in the facility after the front doors were locked. I also requested that if he came to visit that they check in and make sure everything was going fine. - As far as I know he's never been a threat anyone - just very irresponsible and mentally ill but wanted to be sure everything was still ok.