My Dad has been in a nursing home since last April. He was evaluated and determined to not have the capacity to care for himself. He was hospitalized 4 times in 5 weeks. He was hallucinating, very confused. Diagnosed with vascular dementia.
Us siblings met with an elder care attorney and my brother jumped through all the hoops to get guardianship.
Dad did so much better in the nursing home-only hospitalized once in almost a year to get a pacemaker. He gained weight, had medical care, regular meals.
In the past 3 weeks Dad hatched a plan to get out of the nursing home. He removed his alarm band (2nd time). Called his ex girlfriend’s daughter. This week, she picked him up at 3:30 am and they disappeared.
Through checking some phone calls he made from the nursing home line, they got an address. 2 staff from the nursing home and 2 police officers went to the address. And there they were. The police said, “He looks fine, he is safe, he acts fine. We can’t force him back."
This woman has a long history with my siblings. She only does things if there is money involved. Dad has no money-only his social security check.
Then tonight one sister got a phone call saying it was the police department and they had Dad there. When called back, they did not know anything about it, and they did not have him.
How can this happen? We tried so hard and so long to get him in assisted living, or get help for him in his apartment. He refused all help. Adult protective services reported that Dad was a victim of “self abuse”.
He is 91 years old. I live 900 miles away, I was his POA when all this started, I flew home for weeks to work with everyone. What will happen if none of us kids will be his POA or guardian? We feel like if he isolates with this woman, he will be vulnerable to abuse. Again, there is no money-he had $500 in his account, is on Medicaid and SS. They are both drinkers.